Never imagined, I can live so long without blogging.

Having adjusting my life after SOT.

Seeking for more directions when I lost mine.

Everything seem to turn back to the times before SOT and I was trying to remember, to treasure and to hold it close to me.

Everyone have been in the mood of getting attached, dealing with rejections of those that didn't return the affection while turning their eyes upon the things that is important in life.

In this season, I remembering those precious times when I had my longer crush/love for someone that until today, I still smiled when I talked of it.

A child that was once my childhood friend, a child that if he never leave our hometown, maybe today, we will be together.

A child who I played with, had fun with, chatted on phone with, and sticked together everyday in school in those precious days.

Until today, it has been 11 years since I last seem him.

3 years of times together, 7 years of missing the times when we were playing, 4 years of putting the past behind me and these few years as I shared with my friends, I still remembered those times I rejected guys as they never carried the kindness, gentleness, funness that he had... And to think of, I was the one who being stubborn never contacted him ever again after a fateful morning in my primary 4 school days.

Regret? I had those. Sadness? I had those.

Laughters? I had those.

Thanksgiving? I had those.

For now thinking back, maybe because of the love I had for him, that why I learned to wait and never drop my standard.

Because of the patient that was cultivated, I learnt not to jump into any relationships without a process of thinking through.

Until today, facing these problems has been something I'm not good at, being some one who faced issues of it with my friends in my school days, yet, I deciding that to live my life fuller and to enjoy every moment of it.

Like in Wagaya no Oinari-sama, a phrase said by the main character, "first love never comes through."

He was my first love before I met God.

But now God has the first place and shall always be higher than anyone or things.

A sweet memory means much, but a love that is everlasting means everything to me.

Labels: Memories