Today I took a day off...

Thinking of doing projects but end up clearing all the unwanted files in my computer and still got 80% to go.

Today was slacking yet I wanna to have something more...

Reflecting on my life, and it proved one thing that staying at home whole day is not the wisest choice.

And just not long back, I sufted through Su Yi's blog and read her entry about our conversation on sunday.

I shared a lot that day, mostly on my bad experiences with guys since young and also a childhood friend that I still hold close even at this age...

Well at first, to share it is hard for I shared before but not all of my story and it brought back memories yet at the same time, as I shared, it seemed as though I am letting go. Letting go of that childhood promise, letting go of the bad experiences, it is as though since today, I am ready to go forward again.

I remembered once, I was at an altar, waiting to be lay hands by Pastor Ulf and as I fall under the power of God, the voice of the Lord came to me, as clear as my friend, He said, "Your feet shall tread upon every ground and the world shall hear of My name and your testimony."

And many times I told myself, I am not perfect, my life is not perfect.

I make countless of mistakes and still counting, and many times, I made the same mistake again and again, yet my God never abandon me.

There were many times, like some of my closer friends, I felt alone yet I sensed a presence with hold me.

I am no different from others, with a desire to be a leader yet sometime I questioned myself, do I have the quality to be a leader?

I got great dream, great desire yet sometime when people reminded me of my mistakes, it seemed so faraway, yet times after times, even with the pain in my heart, I told myself, "my Lord said it is possible as long as I believe."

I felt down at most times, yet when I recalled my vision, I was awakened.

I got not much people who believed in me except Gabriel, Cliff, Hui Jun, Kenrus, Edmund, Su Yi. Some of which, are higher level than me, some same level while some still growing... Yet unknowningly, they helped to edify me.

They listened to me, answered about my life, hearing me share of my dream and vision. Gabriel, Cliff and Hui Jun expanded my dreams. While Kenrus, Edmund, Abel, Jian Yong and Su Yi believing in my dream.

I really thanks God for giving my chances to share of my testimony and gave me these friends. They listened, they shared their vision... I was always amazed how I got to know these friends. It is not by going out that I know them well, it is by their initative to get to know me that started this friendship.

I won't forget those wonderful BS lessons with Gabriel, Kenrus, Wai Yin and Edmund.

I won't forget those times that Abel and I travelled back home with Hui Jun after those combined CGs that we had long time ago.

I won't forget knowing Su Yi as my junior and ultimately my daring after we got this click for "suaning" Zheng Xuan, "ZX 02".

I won't forget how a short msn conversation with Jian Yong causing us to be friends and now sibling... But I still can't stand being called "mdm" when I looked young then him.

And mostly I won't forget how I got to know Cliff as my spiritual daddy whenever I got into troubles and seek for his helps.

I wanna to be a testimony that shine and for this time round, I got a greater reason to fight on... Because I got my God who look after me and give me these true leaders and friends that stayed with me.

There will always be pain somewhere, somehow... But it is the reminder of why I am here that allow me to stand up again.

I living for a greater cause for my God is my Redeemer...

What about you? Who are you living for?

Labels: Testimony