This few days, I had been thinking a lot about the dreams that I had and how I can only choose one to be my future. Lot of things were in my mind. Even when I was speaking to someone, my mind was no longer there. I was looking through those dreams in my dream box and I was surprised to find myself so different from who others thought me to be...



1. Police Officer

I was once inspired to be a police officer by cousins. And my mum surprising encouraged it until my health deteriorate. If it never happened, maybe I will already be one sooner or later in the near future. I once got this dream that if I ever get in, I want to be a CID or FIB. Sound like the shows that we always watched right? And I loved to have a feel of holding gun, but the only thing that I ever hold was air rifle.

2. Archer

I has a passion for archery. The art that not many people had in this age. I learnt it when I was in sec 4. I once thought I got the talent for it and maybe I do got but thing often don't work out the way it is. I gave up on archery because of my focus and I once hoped that I can continue with it but I can't. Maybe that because I was not called into this, sometime, we got to let go of dreams that is not for us. Maybe that why I choose not to pursuit it for now. But it didn't mean in future I won't pick it up once again. I hope to give a try using the metal bow.

3. Dancer

I was once given the opportunity to learn dancing when I was young. It was a surprising moment because when I was young, I was extremely pump and to most people, I don't seem to be those dancer kind of people yet my teacher wanted me to give it a try along with 3 other kids. But as I said, things didn't always happened the way we want it. My mum asked me to give up on this opportunity because I was to have a sister soon and my mum's friend not able to take care of me. I was sad for many years yet as I planning to go ahead of learning dancing this year, everything changed unexpectedly when God moved me to another realm with Him. Maybe that why God gave me a sister when I prayed to Him so long back for a companion and He did fulfill it. It was until an encounter with Him that I found out why He answered my prayer when I prayed to the heaven instead of the altar in my house when I was just a child. Maybe that was what He had been telling me, I was not meant to be in the entertainment world.

4. Teacher

I once planning to take up the MOE sponsorship to train to be a teacher after my O'Level. But I really thanks God I didn't as I was not meant to be a teacher since beginning. It seem like I was not good at teaching and been through Children Church only tell me one thing, I like kids but I definitely can't deal with a whole class of kids. Just 40 kids alone can kill me.

5. Singer

Songs and music really inspired me. The whole life had been revolved around music. As an escape, as a relaxant, as an inspiring agent, it was part of who I am. The music I listened to, the music that I tune in to, it reflected my life. Most of my time, when I seek to be in solitary, I will just put on my earpiece and just be in my world and with God. Yet, that is one of the thing I can never do now. My vocal cord was damaged due to my long-term cough when I was young and because of it, I will always had breathing difficulty and sore throat. Just like what I say, entertainment world is never where I should be, things that you like, you might never get it. But one thing I can do is to listen to music. I once told Su Yi a few times that if I want to pretend to be busy, all I need is to pluck in my earpiece and played with my phone. I can pretended to be deaf to the world and just relax. Since I can't sing much, the least I can do is to enjoy listening to music. But still, it didn't stop me from praising God and worshipping Him cause we don't need a perfect voice to do that.

6. Guitarist

The first time I ever saw someone played guitar was Cliff when I first joined the CG. I was inspired by the way he can play all sort of songs. And it inspired me to wanna learn it to, but still I was not gifted in this area. The only song I can ever play is Heart of Worship, my favourite song. How I wish I know how to play. I often will listen of how different guitarists played the songs and how each one of them is so different. And talking about it bring to my mind the main singer for Delirious, Martin Smith. The way he can bring out the worship from within us. Really was an anointed and amazing guitarist of God.

7. Businesswoman

Before I make a decision to choose the path of going to where I want to be, I was inspired to be a full-time businesswoman for God. As I listened to the message about penetrating the marketplace, it come to me that though I not able to enter into business course at that time, the least I can do was to focus my attention to having my own business in future. I was about to go fully on this area when I met with a numerous people who changed my life forever. I might still go for it in future, opening my own fashion shop but for now, I got my calling to look for.

8. Counsellor

This is one of the area that I definitely goes for in the near future. To listen to people's problem and to carry their burden can be hard sometime yet I discovered this passion within me as I met up with more and more people and listening to them. I was not a listener by nature but I learnt and I starting to enjoy it. It showed the trust that others have in me. And though at times, I might not know what to do but the Holy Spirit guide me and I thanks God for a Helper from heaven.

9. Preaching / Bible Teacher

Theology is part of me, within me and is my passion since young. It felt like a literature to me and it is interesting to study about the words of God and shared it with others. I enjoyed all those sessions with some friends when we talked about theology and just discussing it. And I missed those bible studies with Gabriel as I can ask him a lot of questions and having sharing session with one another. It ignited that passion within me to share and preach about God's word. Well, it might be fulfill in the near future when those friends of mine goes to the countries that they had been called to go or else, who shall I visit when I go to a country? Maybe I should continue look out for my friend for a future partner for him, or else he will take forever to go to that country of his dream, then I won't have anyone to visit when I am there in future.

10. Missionary

Since I converted, I had received a dream and vision from God to go into mission works in future. It was once part of me until the time I planned to be a full-time businesswoman in future. But God always had his own ways of doing things. I met up with 3 missionaries from overseas and by a conversation with them and sharing with them about going into either business or full-time church work because I was not sure whether I am to go for missions, one of them offered to pray for me. The presence of the Lord came and months afterward, Pastor Ulf came with a team of missionaries and as they prayed for the congregation, I heard the words that each one of them was praying for us in tongues and as I went for the altar call for missions, I received a vision to go all around the world, especially Asia for missions. It changed my view on life, it changed how I view missions and I put aside what I wanna to do and focus on it. One time Gabriel was talking about some of us was meant for missions and full-time ministry and he looked at me for a moment and I knew that I will be one of them. Confirmation after confirmation, what more do I need? It might be tough on me now to overcome my fears and to let go of my inner most desires yet I had been leading on a road that I couldn't turn away from. People never understand how can I be so sure of what I going to do and how I plan all things beforehand yet I don't need to explain much as it is just what my God has gave me. Even if I got to walk this road alone, with no companion and friends, I already make a decision since Emerge to go for Him. If one day I got to leave, I got to do so.

I was given choices before and 2 out of the 3 choices came to pass. Now left the last one. I am a visionary by nature. I might not see things in the big way yet I looking toward the future more than anything else. Trials and tribulations will come but the words of my Lord will never fail me. Out of my 10 dreams, only the last 4 is what I focus on as it is what in my heart. Maybe that why though I yearned to be in the entertainment world yet time after time, the Lord take me away from it.

Lord, guide me through this time. 5 more weeks and what You has planned shall be revealed bits by bits.

I am waiting, waiting for the season of my vision.

Labels: Dream