From yesterday till now, I had been thinking...

About my walk with Jesus.

It seemed to be full of ups and downs, disappointments and happiness, sadness and joy more than any other days of my life...

Yet until today, I realised how much I wanna love God and I wanna go further with Him.

I am a imperfect being, filled with mistakes yet my Lord love me beyond all my flaws and He gave a new life into my soul, my spirit.

Today, as I watched a philippines romance movie, a phrase that the male character said captivated my heart.

It is not about finding someone to complete me, but to find the key to the completeness in my heart and find someone who is just as complete in the heart as me so that we can love one another.

Jesus is the key to the completeness of my heart.

He fills me with love when I thought I can't love.

He allows me to forgive when I don't know how to forgive.

And He teaches me to change not to please others but to impact others.

I love You Lord...

All of You...

一生的爱,属于袮

Labels: Love

Received a ticket from Cindy for her SMU Blast at MOS.

First time being there, it wasn't what I thought.

It was smoky, but not really from the smoke of cigerette.

Being there just to watch the SMU Beauty Peagant and Manhunt.

Compared to ours, it wasn't really very good.

Reid was there too as a friend of Cindy can't make it.

The three of us didn't really dance, partially because the room to put bags was full and my handbag was bothering me while Reid didn't wanna dance because of the limitation of space. It was crazily packed with people...

So ended up? We took photo after photo and just sat there and waited till 11pm prime time to go home...

Landed at Starbuck after that and unlike Reid and Cindy, I gonna made sure I left at 11.30pm to chase after my bus...

Well, everything was okay up till now and thanks God that I reached home safety as I was alone and I happened to see my dad while he was on the way home so I wasn't actually alone.

Let take a look at these creepy photo of us... Haha... It really looked like photos of the Lunar 7th Month, but anyway this month is the Lunar 7th Month.

Labels: MOS Blast

Last night, I went for a gathering with the NYP CHC people.

Get to know that Yu Jie will be in the same team as mine is a great thing caused it is my first time really get together with the NYP people and at the same time, I met up with the guy I got to know 2 years ago through the testimony challenge and it caused me to use the whole time before and after prayer meeting to remember his name. It was hard to remember all their names but I tried my best and did it anyway.

The guy [actually, his name is Rickson] was telling me that he recognised me a few times but after called me one time and I looked at him weirdly, he never dared to call me caused it so funny and I cleared the misunderstanding by explaining to him that I can't remember his name thus looked at him weirdly and after calling his name wrongly since he tested me, I finally remember his name somehow.

Getting to know all of them is hard and though I felt like a new friends yet a few others, like a girl called Trudy and also Rickson made me felt welcome. How time flied, the only thing I remember is we came church at the same time and the 2 of them are from Children Church Ministry, my ex-ministry, and Rickson will be CGL when he finished his army 3 years later.

And the whole time, I didn't really talked much cause I was nervous at seeing all the new faces, plus I really felt as in I was a new friend. But then, it was funny listening to Rickson saying that he wanna climb the school gate or find a way to go in and stay overnight to complete his final year project. And also Trudy who showed her martial art and how another guy, Mark, didn't avoid it think she won't really do that.

Well, I still glad that it is not too late to join in with the NYP CHC people and using my remainder months in NYP to connect with them. The 3 days 2 nights camp is coming up. Hope to find some NYP people to join.

Labels: NYP

想到 Samantha 和 Shine 已经回到了台湾, 我满心的不舍.

跟他们在一起时, 我学到了很多事, 也听了很多跟台湾有关的事.

这使我好想到那里看看.

我收拾心情, 等待五月的时候.

好想看看那里...

真的好想.

Labels: 收拾心情

Shine had finally gone back to Taiwan, it was just a sad feeling cause this few days, we all really had fun with him and he is just like a part of us.

But never mind, I'm planning to Taiwan next year during May or June and Samantha and him had offered to allow us to stay at their house and they just live in town!

I am excited for it...

Waiting for it, anxious for it...

Taiwan! One of my vision, I coming in less than a year time!

Labels: Bye Bye Shine

Finally, the prank for Cindy was a big success...

With Casandra going MIA, having a "fake" BF, meeting her, catching her, bringing Cindy to Makan Sutra along with Michelle then finally, settle down, presented her with her gift and lastly, gave her our letters, she teared on the spot.

She really prayed hard that Casandra won't really had a BF and it turned out to be the biggest prank and she cried out in relief.

When we told her the truths, she went... OH MY!!! And really, the fellowship was wonderful.

Our last night with Shine from Taiwan. We took many photos, eat our hearts out, and lastly, we ended with a smiley face competition between Michelle and Cliff...

But too bad I am not able to upload the video now.

Everything ended good and really, I'm looking forward to tomorrow as I will be sending Shine along with Reid. Will miss him cause the presence of Samantha and him made a big different in our CG.

Learning about the Taiwan's culture, it was powerful and really, I looking forward to the Taiwan trip next year... I really wanna experience the Taiwan Revival myself... Shine's brother will be coming next month or so. Wonder what up next!

Multiplication CG is just a week away and we will be having chalet after this... Wonderful time... Let go go go for more and more!

Labels: Cindy's Prank

Reflect so much today...

Went for service, gave people's bible study and follow by Malaysia trip...

Had been thinking about the words that the Lord had spoke.

During the massage, using the one hour that I had, I relaxed myself and just talking to God...

Well, relection time...

So much to think about...

Labels: Reflection

What a fruitful day with God and people...

Today marked the new birth of Xiong and Kai Yun aka Claire.

And really, it is always wonderful to see people going for water baptism, it reminded me of Sept 10, the day I was resurrected with Christ along with Melissa when we were combining with N161. Joyful day it was...

And had a chat with Chee Kiong when we were on the chartered bus before it was full, he asked about has I been through water baptism and I told him I already went through it 2 years ago and he asked when I came church which was like 3 years ago. And funnily, he asked me whether do I know when he first saw me in the zone... I said no. And he refleshed my mind, he said it was during the zone human monopoly and he felt so tempted to asked whether am I from China cause I looked like a "Chin Na". Then I looked at him and James in a funny way and I looked at Jolene and laughed for it reminded me that how thanksful I am to God this few years after I know Him as having this "China" accent make me easily bended with the Taiwanese and the Mainland China people.

Then I chated with Kai Yun when we were walking toward hall 8. She was very happy that she is finally baptism and she shared that going through this giving her a vision to be excellance in her workplace even more for now she is recognised as the legal child of God so she can't stay the same and do the work as she always do, she is to excel further and shine even more and sharing this with me hitted me hard for after my water baptism, I didn't treasure the moment a lot and many of the times, I allowed circumstances to pull me down, now I know, I got a brighter journey with God.

And lastly, not to forget my encounter with God. I had been trying so hard recently to do things my way and slowly forgetting my reasons for fighting with Him and the visions that I am going for. And really, I stopped taking alcoholic drink from today onward. If the drink can make me high and supress my control, then I shall not touch it as of now. I rather have a perfect sound mind and be serious rather than being crazy. I can have all the fun I want yet with a sound mind.

Well, I received a lot today that changed my mind, and allowed me to wanna consecrate my life even more to maximum my potential while I am walking with God alone. And I ready to serve Him further before my next journey!

It is never tiring with God. Go all the ways!

Labels: Receiving

Wow, yesterday was chatting with Jie Jin on msn.

Saw this cute little picture that she took for her rabbits and she said that they are just like me... Haha... If you get what I mean...



Then I met one of my secondary school junior and we are like, wow... changed so much from last time. Then I told her I changed my contact and she asked me for my name. It seem like, she never saved my no as my name and she saved it as... "BUG BUNNY"! An old time nickname that my juniors from chinese cultural club loved to call me. They found it like me... =X

Well, I still live bug bunny as always so I don't mind that and rabbit? I getting used to it.

Haha... Guess what? My mum always tried to get my bunny items and for my sister? She will get her doggy item. And my mum called me "bunny" and my sister as "gou gou" aka doggy.

Well, bring back good memories anyway but they only time I hate people called me bunny when they make fun of my rabbit teeth. I always wanna to make it straight someday but was against it somehow as it make me unique and thanks God it is not ugly.

Maybe, it isn't bad to be bunny after all...

Labels: Rabbit

I hate the devils and the ways they trying to make you hate the day.

Oh, what happened you might ask me...

Well, I met a nasty old lady on a bus.

I was resting on the bus, feeling sick from bus sick and toward the end, a few stops before I alight, an old lady board the bus and all I knew were she scolded some people when she boarded the bus and a lady beside me gave her seat to her. I was blurred at what happened and suddenly, the old lady scolded me and hit me. o.o

She hit me in a weird way. Not painful actually since she is old so thanks God her strength is not there and I also thanks God that she spoke in dialect coz I don't understand 99% of what she spoke and I thanks God for it coz it won't be unpresent words judged from the ways all people stunned her. Coz before she said me, she scolded a no of people.

Feeling upset actually, I alighted a few stops earlier and decided to take a mrt. The old lady saying some nasty words about me scaring of her etc, but I can't be bothered and all I can do is to be blur.

Well, actually the trip with that old lady beside is super bad, being unclean and trying to do nasty action to provoke me and I can see all people looking at me feeling pity for me who sat there.

When I alighted, an auntie of age 40-50 years old turned to me and said that the old lady was crazy and even though she didn't say much but I know she was trying to make me feel better and I just smiled.

And I learned one thing precious today and begun to review a question I once asked...

Why do some people stopped respecting the elders?

A lot of them are meek and kind but why some people stopped treating them with honor?

People there are some elderly out there being the way that I encountered today and caused people to sterotype them. Like my psychology lessons, people sterotype the elderly as senile and crazy and unreasonable and I thought of my grandmother and grandfather and thanks God for kind grandparents as they can make your days.

I just treated this as a bad experience. One of my members told me that she always encountered elderly like this and she just smile it off cause it really no use letting them bother you.

We all has our 1st time in encounters and though mine isn't a good one but then, I told myself, when I am old, I won't want to be miserable and sadist. Expecting people to treat me in a certain way as how I treat my elders, will be how people will treat me. And how well I treat my future generation, will be how well they gonna treat me.

And really, though the devils wanna make my days bad, God allowed me to enjoy the rest of the day with Shine, Reid and Cindy. We went to boardgame cafe then Reid left to meet up with Pearly they all for movie while Shine, Cindy and I went to Chinatown and we ate so much.

So full and we so enjoyed ourselves.

Well, the beginning might be bad but the end is surely better!

Labels: End is always better...

Today was really a glorious day but the grace of God...

Really what to say?

A professionally done drama that used 3 months to being put up, last for 1 and a half hour with people that only participate in small scale drama... It was a step of faith.

A story about True Love, and how it is worth the wait. Though there is heartache moment, sad incidents, bad guys and all and all yet the wait for true love make the life seem beautiful and different.

Reid said, true love is meeting the special one, and loving her.

The drama said, true love is to accept the person for who they are, no matter how imperfect they are.

And I said, it is a combination of both sayings.

To wait for the special one yet at the same time put aside the self desire to wanna receive love from opposite gender even though you know she/he is not the one. True love is the willingness to wait for the one even when you already know who he/she is. True love is to see waiting as a period of moulding and at the end of the journey, be happy that we wait and accept the believe that it is worthy to wait.

On my way home, that what the Lord show to me.

As He is the same, knowing we are to be His love, He willingly wait for us to look at Him. People asked, there are so many people on earth, how can God wait for everyone but then, we are His children, His flesh and blood. When He created us, He already placed His life within us and He willingly wait for us to acknowledge Him and accept His love.

Life is not perfect, like a spoiled kid, we might sometime blamed God this and that, trying to be religion, trying to please people or act overly conservative to please Him but God desire us to love Him freely. To chat with Him like a child talking to His beloved parents, like a couple talking to one another.

True love really worth the wait.

I wonder how long will I have to wait.

Some waited a few months, some a few years, some even not sure when...

But God has His plan for us.

Place our life in His hands, and we shall see Him at work!

Labels: Love

Search my heart O Lord...
You know my every thoughts...

Today, I was just browsing through a couple of friends' blog and reading their lives as they read mine...

Many thoughts came to me.

And one entry caught my attention...

What will you do, if you have a million with you?

And as I read it, I came to ask God...

What do you want me to do, if You give me a million dollor?

And many images came to me.

I was reminded of my destiny, my dream.

The dream to go to every corners of the world.

To stand on a platform and preach the word of God.

To lay hands on the sicks and needy.

To cast out demons and heal the broken hearted.

To equip the people and to make disciples for Jesus.

To build homes and to give support to people facing disasters.

Yet, I wondered to myself. Is that what You called me to do when I first came to You, so unsure, so timid, so rebellion and so mess up, even during my walk with You, I got mess up and fallen backward yet You never give up.

Through man of God, You spoke into my life, renew my vision and reignite my passion.

When the devils came to pull out the fire within me, You came with a light to reignite the fire.

When I turned my back and blamed You, You never said a word but stay on for me to come back.

Each time, I saw my vision clearly.

Each time, it seem so near yet so far.

Each time, I seem confident that what I thought to be true will be true yet Your plans is different.

And everytime, as I remember You...

I forget the words I wanna say.

For a thousand words could not express my feeling.

I stopped struggling so that I may experience You once again.

Forever Remembering You...

Labels: Remembering

One more day and my caging life will be over.

One last paper and I off to holiday.

Exam really not my cup of tea.

Exam really is my caging time.

Staying at home not to relax but to study.

Whenever I wanna stay at home, it is to be in my world of resting...

Now got to work and study.

Just one more day and I free...

The desire for freedom of exam is one thing.

But the desire for true freedom is another thing.

I had found my true freedom in Christ and I just wanna be there forever and ever...

From cage to freedom.

Wonderful feeling...

Labels: Freedom

A period of ponder.

A period of lingering.

Everything in life seem to stop moving.

When it started?

And when the end will come?

When will start moving?

And when will transformation show itself?

Pondering...

Labels: Ponder

Finally found out what happened to Chee Kiong.

I can't believe he believed in Cliff about the prank regarding Cedric and me. Even Cindy won't believe it but he believed it and so many funny [though to Chee Kiong not very funny] scenes and words came out.

He told me today that for the whole afternoon for yesterday, he was praying for me as Cliff said to him he is going to place me on the shelves for 6 months to a year because I confessed being together with his member. [The actual prank]

He actually believed it and was angry and the rest of the story added on to make him even more upset and heart broken.

And from what I heard today, he even told his member that he gonna sent him to Johor CG so that he never came back to SG. I was laughing all my way when I heard this.

But the bottom line is Cindy and I all wondered why this prank put this member and me in? I prayed the whole afternoon yesterday for CK to don't call me and I prayed that somehow he don't believe it but the amazing thing was he still believed it.

And today, met up with Hui Jun and Abel on the bus and on the mrt. Abel said he wanna heard stories since he couldn't catch up with my blog so I tell this prank to them. They also can't believe CK got pranked like this. Well, the director of this whole thing might have it revenge up soon...

We were sharing all the pranks that the director ever come up with and we all wanna to do something.

Pranksters not good to be and when it is their birthday... More amazing pranks come up.

Labels: Prank

Wow, the past few days had been enjoying myself before the mugging.

Shine and Samantha from Taiwan came to Singapore for a vacation and today, Samantha will be going back to Taiwan first while Shine will stay for one more week.

I enjoyed sat and sun so much.

Sat, brought Shine and Samantha to City Hall. They were so crazy over CDs and sport items rather than other things. Even went to see those branded cosmetics with Samantha. She was not those kind of girls who love to doll-up but due to ministry, she need to put on make-up. We went to look for brand that also avaliable in Taiwan and wanna to compare the price and guess what? The so called branded cosmetics in Singapore is so common in Taiwan and they sold it at least 50% cheaper in Taiwan for a brand that is from New Zealand. I found some of the brands that I read from Magazine and wow... though the price is a little expensive compared to my usual cosmetics set but the colors combination is fantastic and nice. Maybe I should have a cosmestic revolution?

Then Sun, we went to this Clinic Pub at Clarke Quay and I made such a fool out of myself. =X Order sprite vorka and orange vorka then shared it with Irene but since I don't normally took alcoholic drink and I never took so many at one go, I nearly got drunk after finished 1/4 of the spite vorka and 1/4 of the orange vorka. Then Cindy and Samantha made use of my craziness at the period to take photo of me and Cindy even took video! =X

But Irene got the worst out of it, knowing that I can use the so called "drunken" state [since everyone thought I'm a little bit drunk =P], I started ti take a cushion and "bullied" Irene. It had been such a long time since I had been so crazy beside my sister who I always had pillow fight with even up till today.

Labels: Fun

2 more exam papers to go and I off to holiday!

I want my holiday and I want my attachment to be over soon.

I want to spend more time with God now, to renew and to be reflesh!

Holiday mood!

Labels: Waiting

Can't believe...

How many interesting things had happened today...

1st, I brought 2 taiwan friends [Cindy's friends too] to walk around City Hall area for a few hours from 11am till 3pm before we went to expo. Never thought I could walk so long. They were not crazy over clothes but more like CDs. They were shocked to find CDs at the price of below 10 bucks at the VCD store. And all they brought were CDs. Haha... Being with them was okay but fun because of the comments and funny stuffs that we were talking about...

Then something funny happened while I was at Attributes. Only shared this with Irene but really, it taught me a lesson about don't look around too much cause people might have funny reaction! I was lining up and happened to hear this guy with an english accent so I just looked up and he was happened to be at the next line but considered beside me, so I pretended to browse through and looked pass him. He suddenly rised up his hand and wanna to say hi but the moment I looked pass him, he stopped and looked a bit shocked. Then finding this funny, I looked elsewhere but I heard his friend saying "you wish". I was like oh o... =X

And I met up with Vivian and lastly Jie Jin to pass her, her long awaited present. Can't believe it! Can't believe Kenrus pulled her into Usher Ministry! Kenrus do so well there and is one of the uprising IC [or is he one now?] and now he convinced his beloved sister and my beloved friend to be in Usher Ministry. His CG really full of Ushers and in future can ask them for help nah? Muhaha...

But through a chat with Jie Jin, I came up with a joke of "Ji [aka Machine]. I think Jie Jin nearly fainted, Cindy and our beloved Taiwan and China friends went mur... Shine went crazy and padded his chest to say that I win and then he came up with a joke too that I can't stop laughing...

Really service was exciting but fellowship was even amazing!

And my last unbelievable thing and the most ridiculous thing was... I receiveda call... Being involved in a prank, using my name... o.o I wondered why choose me? And the rest of the prank? Can be laughable or I gonna spent time clearing my name again... Haha... But I waiting to hear the outcome while hoping I survived out of it cause I'm innocent and not even close but my name is used for prank! Prank... At least I'm not the one being prank... Thanks God.

Well, today just sharing my funny experiences. How funny is it, depend how you looked at it... But I enjoyed today. God, give me more fun moments with friends around me and teach me to be a better person...

Labels: Unbelievable

I clearing away memories that should be clear away so that I may start anew.

I clearing away mistakes so that I can move forward.

I clearing away relationships with various people that I should have at the beginning so that I may have new and fruitful relationships with friends that edify me and be with me, stay throughout my life and to sustain me.

I clearing away soul ties upon soul ties, friendships ipon friendships that I should have in the beginning...

Maybe because it hard to find true friends and maybe it because once I got a friend, I will be relying, that why it's hard for me to clear it away yet I bit on believing that at the end of tearing, more fruitful friendships and more amazing people I will meet.

This is my wilderness period.

A time of rediscovery.

Some might wonder...

Why I dift away...

Some might wonder...

Why I didn't contact them anymore...

Some might wonder...

Why I seem different...

But this is all just part of a new beginning.

A new decision that I know...

Not only for myself but also for others.

Maybe one day, when we crossed our paths again...

We will be a brand new person and maybe then, our friendship can be fruitful.

A fruitful and fulfilling life I wanna live.

Labels: Clearing

I got so many dreams and visions that I wanna fulfill as my school life gonna come to an end.

These 3 years wasn't isn't for me, as I was struggling with not being able to enter into my dream course and ended up in a course that I never thought I will choose though people wanna convince me that I am suitable for it with a face that people said was gentle and soft spoken which I often told them, if they really know me, I am loud and hyper active.

And in my heart, how I long time passed faster.

Since when I was young, I always grew up faster than people my age, in term of biologically. I always wanting to grew older faster for I wanna to be an important person and doing great thing that the world often said women are not capable of but when I was young, I never believe so for the more people said I can't make it, the more I wanna proved to them. To those close to me and beloved to me, to those that was not with me as I grew up, I wanna them to recognise me when I received my success and I prayed with all my heart to reunite with my beloved friends if one day we recognise one another through our success. That was my motivation and that was my dream.

But as I grew up and under the pressure of society, this dream seem to be further and further away. Giving up on my favourite subject, I did badly in school for 3 years. Receiving a normal grade and criticism because of my lack of pronounciation due to a natural disability in speech which people called it short tongue in simple term. And for a period of time, I hated when people asked me whether am I from China due to my chinese pronounciation. This disability caused quite a numerous problems for me. Being look down by my own people, and even when faced China people, I myself disliked them because of the comments that I heard when I was young. My own country people being judgmental and in class, I was often being left alone because of my weirdness as some of them called and due to my pride which I often felt that they were so immature, bullying people and critised others while thinking they were superior. I looked down on them and allowing their criticism to fly pass me.

That was my life and my dream faded away...

Many years, as I went through this so called suffering [for my state of mind in that point], I would often went out with my primary school best friend. It was a friendship that built up over our last 2 years of school life and if I were to being asked who will ever be the one that I will never forget and we can go through tears and joy, it will be her. It was such a miracle how we came to become best friend. For the first year when we knew one another, I was the so called big sister of our girl group which she was the 2nd sister of the group but for some reason, out of the 4 of us in the group, I just didn't like her and the same went for her. We never really talk, and even when we played together, there wasn't much interaction.

But everything changed when we were promoted to primary 6. Our best friends from the same sister group starting to be closer and our relationship with them drift apart. By the need of wanting a best friend, we starting to go out everyday after school to our favourite hang out place. And every single day, our routine was the same, we went to the supermarket, looked out for food and snacks to buy. Chit chat over various things that we like and we starting to become the best of friends, inseparated.

But with every friendship, it needed to be tested by trials and tribulations. The other 2 friends of us starting to feel weird as we became best friends and during those time, I was known to have nasty attitude and fiery characters. Any guys or girls that provoked me will always get a scolding from me caused I can't tolerate nonsense and I can't stand injustice. And at that time, I scolded one of the girl in front of our friends. They felt upset and gathered the rest of the friends to go against me yet the miraclous thing was my best friend, she chose to stay with me knowing that she would also lost these friends. When she was secretly being asked to go out with them, she would reject or like me know but often in times, she would just rejected and went out with me instead.

Thus even when I went through a tough period at my secondary school, I would always went out with her caused I would always being reminded of the good times when she stayed with me. Even when I never shared my problems from my secondary school, we will just went out and being crazy.

During my last year in secondary school, I was saved and started to come to church. The time that we spent together was lesser and lesser. I was sad when time after time I invited her but rejected by her. She don't really like Christians but at least, she didn't left me when I converted.

But through my times with God, I rediscovered my dreams and visions.

And this time round, I had the motivations not because for my own self but for a brighter future. Not because of the possible reunion but because I wanna to change the society.

I feel that I was growing slower with the Lord in term of characters moulding.

It seem like I has forgotten my dreams, visions and motivations.

I seem to miss out so much.

Yet this song, "God of My Forever" reminded me of the time when I received Jesus into my heart when I was 16 years old going to 17 and time really flied and now? I going to be 20 soon in a few months time.

I got so much dreams, so much visions. Some I need to fulfill on my own. Some? With my friends and some with my future beloved ones.

I once lost the dreams but I slowly recovered them back.

I can miss the good old days all I want but I got a future to think about.

God of My Forever, I truly surrender...

Labels: Dream

Wilderness, I was in a wilderness.

Walking the roads which never see the ending.

Walking the roads that seem so faraway from my destination.

I crying out for an insight of what I'm called to be.

I lost for a moment and a moment later, I walked back to the path You lead me to be.

I was unsure yet You brought me back.

I was down, yet You lifted me up.

I let down all and give up all.

Just so I might see You once again.

Someone once said, it's better to let go all and have God then to have all and lose God.

It is a new journey and a new road that I walked with You.

Many mistakes and sins I once carried in my life and by the blood of Jesus, I am cleanse so that I may walk that new road with You.

Take me O God. To the place where You want me to me.

Only You and only me.

Labels: New Beginning

Just came back from my examination at Alexandra.

Wow, can't believe that the hospital is so much better compared to SGH.

Anyway, I back on relaxing mode before I go all the way out for mugging.

So long never do survey.

Today, I posted some surveys here...

ONE. On the outside
Name: Evangeline
Birth Date: 25th Jan
Eye Color: Dark brown
Hair Color: Pure black with a tint of orange brown due to hair dye.
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius. A girl from the water world.

TWO. On the inside
Your Heritage: Chinese
Your Fears: Old and nasty people.
Your Weaknesses: Self privacy.
Your Perfect Pizza: Chessy delight.

THREE. Yesterday, today, tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: I wanna sleep more.
Your Bedtime: I don't wanna sleep, I hope to be able to stay until 3am.
Your most missed memory: Those precious times with my childhood best friend.


FOUR. Your pick
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds
Adidas or Nike: NIKE rule
Lipton tea or Nestea: Neither of them... =X
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate delight!
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino. Got a song by Elva also called cappuccino, maybe that why I loved it.

FIVE. Do you
Smoke: No!!! I hate smoker and I am allergy to the smoke.
Curse: When I was young but now? Didn't.


SIX. In the past month
Drank alcohol: No. Remind me... Someone owe me france wine chocolate. =P
Gone to the mall: Yes. Been there quite often on my own.
Been on stage: Nope. In Jun yes, but not Jul.
Eaten sushi: No but I hope to have the time to go for sushi buffet.
Dyed your hair: Haven't yet. Maybe soon>?

SEVEN. Have you ever?
Played a stripping game: Nah. =X
Changed who you were to fit in: Nah. Been a special is the best.

EIGHT.
Age you're hoping to be married: Before my 23th birthday.

NINE. In a Girl/Guy
Best eye colour: Brownish black.
Best hair colour: Black


TEN. What were you doing
1 minute ago: Starting this quiz.
1 hour ago: At Alexandra Hospital.
4.5 hours ago: On my way home from school.
1 month ago: Trying to discover myself.
1 year ago: Waking up from my sleep.

ELEVEN. Finish the sentence
I love: God
I feel: Mixed
I hate: Satan
I hide: Nasty feature
I miss: My childhood friends.
I need: Holy Spirit to be with me...

Labels: Quizzes

Exam period had came it's way...

4 more modules to clear and I shall be finished and my 5 weeks break shall start.

Upcoming is my hospital posting that I dread yet I know it is yet another exposture.

Don't know what will come my way.

Just know got to get it through and done with.

I will be away often, from msn and from people.

The only time I will appear will be for CG and service.

Got to meet up some of my old friends...

I think they and I miss each others.

How I miss the old primary school life.

Going out every satursday with friends to one another's place and cause a big mess.

How I miss my NA friends who we often will mixed around and I went to their class just to chat with them and had some fun teasing one another.

Maybe busi-ness, do make people miss the old good time.

But I got to look forward.

Though can be hurtful some time...

Who loved exam anyway?

Gonna be away again...

Cya!

Labels: Exam

Sat...

An unforgetful day.

Slept in late till 9am...

Received an sms from Jasmine, and got invited to Jo's 21st birthday. I was shocked to say and I was grateful for the invitation. Nice card it is and this year really is a year of crossing over for many people as they turned 21st.

And the new song sung by church made me wept for the first time ever since last year emerge. The presence of God as I was being reminded of my youth and how God is a God of my youth and forever He will be.

And I really viewed life in a new view. That with God, I got no worries, for He settle all that I ever need to settle. To believe in Him for all things and every things.

Went out with Cliff and the rest of the helpers after service. Was so hungry and we used almost 2 hours to travel to Orchyard. At first Cliff wanna brought us to Cineleisure so that after discussion can watch movie but a wrong information led us to take a wrong bus and we ended at SGH interchange. So blur and we took another bus to Plaza Singapura to have our dinner at Long John Silver which was like 10 plus already.

But it was not a wasted trip. Well, Irvin shared one of his revelation again and he said that he received a revelation on this phrase, "Iron sharpens iron, man sharpens man." And he said, a perfect man is like a perfect rod that is shining. When came across a rod that is spikey and it rubbed against it, the rod that was once spikey will become smooth and shining but the rod that was once shining will become rough because of the interaction but if take 2 rod that is spikey and rubbed them against one another, they will become smooth and that why man sharpens man to make it smooth. And he said that goes to relationship too, if someone want to compromise in everything, just said iron sharpens iron to make things perfect...

But that goes for everything in life too...

Well, learnt so much from Dr. A.R. Bernald and also from my ex-fellow helpers.

Now is a new journey with a new CG.

I need to grow myself and expand myself.

More to come!

Labels: Life

All that I wanna be...

It is within my reach.

All that I wanna be...

It's in the word of my Beloved.

How many times I wanna be who I am not to be...

Until I see Your face so close to me.

Telling me that it's okay to be who I am.

People might not accepted me.

But that didn't stop me from being who I loved to be.

So simple to seem yet so difficult to guess.

I am just being who I wanna to be.

Not a wannabe on stage.

But a actual me in life.

A mask that was tore away.

For the world to see who I am.

A dancer of life.

A actress of life.

Yet behind all these is just a girl who has a big dream to fulfill.

No love of the world can grab her heart.

No words of the world can stop her heart.

For vision is greater than pure ability.

Vision is greater than a thousand words.

Just a simple wanna-be girl that heard from her Beloved and chased after her Beloved.

The teasing words of the world.

The mockery voices of the world.

It's stopped today.

For she choose to forget.

It's stopped today.

For she choose to dream.

All that she wanna be...

Is just to being an ordinary girl with extraordinary works.

Labels: Being Me

It take a conviction to build up the beliefs within us.

It take a conviction to make us who we are today.

Everyone had different conviction.

And conviction is what that make us unique today...

There is some convictions that I hold strongly within my hands.

While the rest is just a preference.

It is wrong or right to impose what you believe upon others?

I thought different for I am an educator and truth carrier.

I opened to accept people's conviction and learn from them.

For there is many many things that I still don't understand.

Many many things that I don't even know is right or wrong.

But I will do my best every single day.

To be more and more like Christ...

Labels: Conviction

Thinking back...

N266 finally multiplied and out of it, E457 had been born.

I never had thought that I will be in the new CG cause I still feel I am not grow up in many many areas of leadership and hope with all my heart that Cliff will guide me but sometime, what you hope for might not be what you shall get...

After so many trials, from losing people, crying for revival, till a revival broke forth, 3 years after the last multiplication in Aug 2004, we finally did it.

We never gave up, Gabriel always told us to persist and many choices had came our way before when grown seem to be so faraway.

Before the revival that broke forth a year ago, Cliff once gave us 3 options, to combined with another CG and just multiply by human strength, continue to believe in grown and by all means, grow on our own, and lastly... to disband.

We all were so against it and God is always faithful, a few months later, our CG starting to grow like never before. From a core of 20, we grew to 40 over people. Though in the end, others left, but those that stay are really strong people.

Through the tears we shed, for those that was gone, and the tears we shed for all that we been through, God never let us down. The 2 times we really shed was when many left and when the warriors keep on fighting.

And now E457 aka FORTIFIED SERVENT is born! With a desire to go against all odds and with a desire to grow, we will once again create another miracle.

Here we are, send US!

Labels: Multiplication

Enjoying myself with my own CG, N266, N337 and E458...

We had a long day yet it was a fruitful day...

Being out for most of the day, feeling sick yet not willing to being home early.

Went to fellowship with Cliff they all, playing counter strike for the first time, choosing the best gun, being killed over and over again due to people attacking from behind... Well, it was superb though compared to my streetfighter years.

Then had a fun time taking mrt with Jessica and the rest...

Well, what to say?

Girls really good at changing topics and guys? They can only listened in the end caused they can't catch up with us.

We talked about random stuffs but one thing we talked about really make us think a lot... We talked about sicknesses and diseases and even though we might eat well, sleep well but when sicknesses or diseases come we never know...

The destruction of mankind, the destroyers of the earth...

O God...

I really hate it...

I wished we live in a semi-natural environment...

Breathing in flesh air...

I still rememebered getting nose allergy because of fog and my friend got asthma because of that...

Well, got another long day later of the day...

Signing off now! =]

Labels: Fellowship

My soul thrist for You.

My heart long for You.

The living water that I has always drank, I want to have a taste of it again and again.

To be fill with Your endless presence and to have a heart after thee.

Yet life is not always the way I want it to be.

The business of life, the trials and tribulations of life...

It threatened to lead me away.

Yet time after time, it's You I found.

Stand at my path, waiting for me...

An outstretched hands and a loving voice...

"Follow after me, and I will never forsake you nor never be away from you."

That what I always heard and that what I always longing to hear...

The promise and the love.

And forever I shall follow after thee...

Till the end of the age...

Labels: Longing

One after another big bang...

My heart was brown away.

From the music to the preaching, one night is better than another.

By the grace of God... The last night was really impactful though the hall was only 3/4 full.

Thanks God for the desire to Q up early, we managed to get the floor area and being so close up to the stage, my mind was bown away.

The end of the meeting, Delirious was super. Martin Smith jumped on the 1st row of seats at the floor area and wow, all of us went crazy. We can't believe it and yea, it was beyond what we imagined.

And really, what can I said about the goodness of God?

I gave my all and in return, I got a trip by home by Yu Jie's father along with Jessica. At first, we planned to take cab but really, this ride saved our effort and cost...

Well, I tried to blog when I got the time... Haha... Night!

Labels: FOP

Coming back from the 1st session of FOP really changed my life and renewed my visions.

A few of the visions came to my life very strongly and really, whatever I had shared for the past half a year, I gonna to correct it for during these period, I felt I was so faraway from God and only want what is best for me yet at the end, what I thought to be the best turned out to be not what God installed for me, until deliverance and until today...

After confessing and letting go, the presence of God covered me like never before. I shared and accounted, killing my flesh and allowing my spirit to take over. Reminding myself every single time to cover myself and my thoughts with the blood of Jesus, it wasn't easy but like what Cindy said, it is what that keep the devils away.

These few months weren't easy. I went through confusion, pressure, self discovering and these are what I received at the end...

1. I won't be going SOT in 2008!
Sad to say this but after a chat with someone, I heard from her that because the course is too pack and because next year schedule is already out so they can't change the length of the course but from inner resources, they gonna resume back to the 10 months course in year 2009 and after some praying and seeking God, I was reminded of what I told my friend before that if ever SOT is going back to resume the old system, I will go for it and here I am, waiting for 1 more year!

2. To be the next uprising CGL!
I always thought that I either become a CGL before or in the midst of my SOT period but now I really wanna to achieve this vision before SOT.

3. Pursuiting study!
Already decided that I gonna go for counselling diploma, advanced diploma and degree course when I finish SOT. It will take me 5 years but I willing to go for it!

4. Israel and missions trips!
Today, Irene and I was talking about going Israel and Taiwan next year. We are planning to gather people for next year Israel trip and also a Taiwan trip to explore the world. Still praying and seeking for whether 2008 will be the time when I step out to explore the world. Well, no har, thinking and planning.

I believe in my God and I believe whatever He wanna to give and provide, He shall do that.

This year FOP was beyond my imagination. Really love it, really enjoy the presence of God. 2 more sessions to go.

Labels: visions

Wow!!! I can't believe that I was away from blogging for more than 3 days.

So many things had happened over the past few days and it gave me new visions, new ideas and new ways of life that I must thanks God for all of these.

Had a nice chat with Cindy on wed after something quite sad happened to me. Shared with her a lot of stuffs and really, I thanks God that I shared caused it allowed me to be truly free, and have someone that I can account too.

And most of all, I nearly lose my job due to my sicknesses but surprisingly in the end, I received something better, to work at home, under a flexible condition and as Cliff said, I can save a lot of money and earned up to 6 times more than what I am earning now when I went back to office cause now they are paying me according to how many entries I can do and to say the truths, it allowed me to have a chance to earn above 2000 bucks if I am always at home and it give me more time to do visitation, give bible study and a lot of other stuffs and I am very well the 1st ever person to do home-based work. Thanks God for good record and this job.

And I just received news that after the 2008 SOT, the church is going to adopt back the old system which costed more money but in my opinion, it is best than the crash course and I get to enjoy the tough yet fulfilling life at SOT. So in the end, I told Cindy that I decided to work in year 2008 and only go to SOT in year 2009.

I know a lot of you heard me said that I wanna go SOT in Year 2008 but when the vision turned to you clearer, you are willing to let go of your pride and everything else to go for it and I won't regret it cause when I thought through it again, it seem to fill into my vision.

I remembered saying I wanna be a leader before SOT and wanna settle down after SOT and when I am 22 and if I entered in SOT in year 2009, it is just nice, everything just fix.

And also, I decided to go for Israel if possible in 2008. I wanna to see the 7 years of celebration and I wanna to experience the presence of God in a more powerful way.

So many stuffs in my mind and I still got so little time. I might not be blogging as much as I did in the past but I hope all people won't forget about me.

Labels: visions