Never thought that I will slept at 4.30am and wake up at 8.30am.

Never thought that the longer I stayed awake, the more difficult I am to sleep and now? I'm not even tired which isn't weird for the effects will come back in the afternoon.

I'm always wanna be a night owl for I wanna see my physical limit and to prepare for the unearthly hours in the future SOT.

I broke my own record of chatting for more than 3 hours, which I never did and surprisingly, I did it for the first time of my life... O.o

And when I managed to sleep, I have a weird dream that showed my current CG and 2 guys who left us before we multiplied. It was so weird that I can believe what I dream. I saw them come back to CG for meeting unwillingly, and one of the guys who I once treasured so much like my blood brother rededicate his life and cried in front of the presence of God while the rest of us comforted him...

And the next moment I knew, I woke up...

And I starting to reflect those times when he suddenly left and then a brother who looked about the same as him but left nonetheless in the end.

It was those times when I prayed and prayed for them...

It was those times when what I hoped won't happened again happened because of the common reason, to commit more for study.

It was those times when I asked God why they can't finish what they promised to Him.

Yea, as I woke up from the dream, I got this feeling that is not that simple.

It's just like how Zhi Xian once trying to run away from God yet in the end still ended up in the same old CG that he lefted though he is more on fire for God and fulfilling what he promised for God.

And I awaiting...

To see the future that God planned...

Maybe it's times to restart something after this batch of integration.

And after waking up, I spent my times, working, listening to music, playing facebook while at the same time reflecting on the various stuffs that gone on in my life and the truths which I had realised.

I finally fully decided to cut off the cycle... After such a long years of holding on...

And I felt so much lighter.

And at the same time, I thought back to some fun conversation I had with some friends of mine.

1st with Jian Yong... Yesterday we talking about sponsership since Su Ee got the sponsorship from hospital and we talked about the various sponsership that we were asked to take by our parents. For him, his father asked him to take navy but he rejected because of a greater future. For me, I wanna take navy but the lost of freedom caused me to cut off that decision. Then I planning to take nursing sponsorship but the conclusion is the same as navy, not worth losing my freedom and visions due to money and allowance in my opinion. Then the funny part came when I told him that my mum wanted me so much to go to police academy when I was young just because my cousins who were all guys were in NPCC. In secondary school, she even tried to make me signed up for NPCC which I didn't, though I like guns.

And Jian Yong said something about the weirdness of my mum though I don't disagree with him, cause it linked back to the next funny conversation of mine.

I once had a conversation with Cindy when we went Malaysia last weekend.

I was listening to Cindy telling me some weird side of those who was an example of unloving couple and how she was disencouraging from marry young which to us as Child of God, as long as we meet the right person, marriage is just a mile away.

Then I shared with Cindy that my mum's friend's 2 sons are getting marry at the month and my mum just suddenly ask why I still haven't get attachment then Cindy went "o.o", cause it the first time a mum encouraging her girl to get attach. Even I had a heart attack and tells my mum that unless a guy want me then I consider for if I said to wait for the right one, as a non-believer, she will think my wire disconnected.

And then I had a chat with Mandy a few days back after service. And I told her I wanna get married before 23. Jian Yong once said is too young but for me who missions are the first upward calling, I found it reasonable and I was having fun sharing my own list with Mandy. Then we stopped when Mandy said it's good to fun a guitarist caused can worship together and I got a good laugh for she found one herself.

And the funny stuffs are how Mandy and I knew one another a year ago through our zone camp even though Martin was my CG member. I only heard about her, and saw her for someone pointed it to me but to know her is a different things for she was more fun than I ever thought she was.

That when I knew, we can't judge books by it's cover and to say the truths, she is one of my encouragers. Just like JY, GX, Elaine when I shared my visions, she listened and encouraged me... And we discussed about various stuffs like how to improve ourselves to lead the CG better. That is what I often call a true friends of ministry. We encouraged not discouraged. And I must said, I got a few friends like Mandy too and I really glad to know all of them for they spice up my life.

It's not everyday we can meet people like them.

Well, who know a dream can spark off so many thoughts.

And I thanks God for showing me a deeper meaning of true friends. =]

Labels: Friendship