Coming back to Him is not just a nice feeling but it a wonderful start with Him once again.

Once in a while in ministry, I will feel tired.

Tired from the words of people of the lacks of concern from people.

Tired from the things I wanna do yet got to restrain from it and tired from doing things that earn criticism from people.

Tired, tired, tired...

Sometime, I really do ask God, if I got a visions and people are hindering me or I am the one that hindering myself, what can I do?

And everytime, I bow my head in defeat for I received no reply.

But today, after crying out within myself for a flesh new start during worship, I saw a vision...

I saw myself standing in the middle of a big field.

It was so beautiful.

Full with lovely clouds and beautiful flowers.

It was a typical field, with wind blowing by you and the scent of a flesh breeze...

It was simply lovely...

And suddenly, in front of me, I saw someone facing his back toward me, wearing a pure white clothes and slowly, he turned and faced me like an angel and I heard a voice saying, "how much you want to know me? I know your weaknesses and your strengths. I heard every cries and I heard your heart but tell me, how much you wanna know me?"

With tears in my eyes, I knew He was Jesus.

And a simply reply of "I wanna know You deeper. Deeper than what I ever know.", I sensed His presence flied through me and as I heard the voice of Pastor Derek, calling those who in need of a flesh touch from God, I responsed to it.

I didn't cry like some of them did. I just simply sat on the ground cause partly due to my skirt, yet during that moment, I heard the voice of God telling me that all is forgiven and a new start has begin. Forsake all unrighteousness and come back to Him to love all of Him and to fulfill all purposes of life.

I know it was a no turn back anymore. So many times God has called me and so many times I responsed yet I never fully listen to Him. Fallen so many times and being up so many times, I'm tired and I know it's time to surrender fully.

With a new start in mind, I set forth the journey.

And today, as I received my drawf hamsters from Jun Jie, I know they gonna play a part in my life. In the past, I always being so concentrated on my works that I neglected everyone around me. Now with them, I can play with them and have some fun. It was not cheap to set up their home, but I has no regret after seeing them having their fun.

And very blessed for today I asked Jessica to meet me to go home together. Howe and one of her friend, Andy, came along. They offered to send me back, partly due to me carrying so many things and Andy wanna talk more with us.

It was nice to have people offered to send you back and thanks God for them.

They all reached home safely and tomorrow will be a brand new day!

Jia you Shi Min.

Ahead of you is a brand new journey.

Labels: Voice of God