I can't express how I really feel now.

But one thing to summarise all, I was restart, renew and reflesh by God.

Had been confused, bothered and escaping from what I supposed to decide over my life yet today I seem to receive my answer.

It seemed like I had been doubting my calling and purpose and was escaping from it.

But today, I once again reviewed my life with Jesus and really, I got so much more to improve and walked on.

Really impacted by the message about the 2 kinds of relationships in this world.

The 1st one is with people and the 2nd one is with God.

And I was so impacted by the sharing of it. It reminded me of my own parents, how I so often neglected the kindness and love they showed toward me. They always silently bearing all the pains of raising us up and all the times, due to the lack of times spending together unlike when I was the only child and my father was often at home during the weekend, we seldom spend times together anymore. I often neglected connecting with my sister while she is always behind me waiting for me to talk to her. I often found it irritating to communicate but as day after day of knowing God and His love, I starting to be more open up toward my own parents and Lord, today is just the day for me to once again review this area and improve it.

And then I went back to think about my friendship with various people, girls and guys. Many of the times, I was running away from making friends with people and over the years, this had left me bit by bit but in the area of opposite gender, I will always not be able to form a closer friendship with most people. Yet God is helping me, this I know. And today, I just feel a refleshing of God came upon me to tell me that I should really start anew in this area. They are all my friends, if I can make friends with someone, I can make friends with all people.

And when I reviewed my relationship with God, I found that I had missed out so much over the past few months. After moving in the wrong direction for sometime, the moment I came back, it seemed that the voice of God wasn't as clear as in the past and I was blinded. But today, as I cried out for Him once again, I felt His presence walking toward me and He kneed with me and said, "I will always be with you, forever and ever."

And the next thing I knew... He was standing in front of me, holding out His hands and called me to follow me. And like the few divine encounters I had with Him, He brought me to the cross and asked me the very same question that He asked when He gave me the vision of missions, "Are you willing to follow Me and bear the cross? Put down your worries and follow Me as you promised before."

I bowed my head, kneeing in front of Him and once again, I committed my life back to Him.

And God said, this is just a new beginning...

Restart, Renew, Reflesh

Lord, now I know why I got to wait and wait and wait, for You are bring me higher to prepare me for my calling and to santify me.

I promise to be obedient and listen to Your voice.

With all my heart...

Labels: Commitment