Today, I received so much, learned so much about being a leader.

Yes, I was never a good one, I might even called myself an untrained and lousy one,
with the ability to integrate new friends for zone members, yet bad at integrate friends in own CG.

But as I learned the attitudes of a good leader, I start to realize, my group is where it is not because of the sheeps, but because I has been back to my usual excuse-giving self.

People warned me about this. Leaders warned me about this. They told me how I will grow once this habit of mine is away from me.

Yea, when I didn't guard my heart carefully and let down my guard, I slowly start giving excuses to everything in life.

From family, to school, to work and ultimately to ministry.

Yet in the end, I realized, it is up to me to overcome this weakness of mine.

For God said, "greatest is he who is in Me."

Only with Christ, can I become what He want me to be.

The devils seek to destroy the vision of mine.

Yet, God's will always overcome the tricks of the devils.

I shall not be giving excuses, instead, learn to trust God and the Holy Spirit to move in my life.

I'm not perfect, neither are you who is now sitting in front of a computer reading my post.

Yet God make us perfect in His image.

Stop wasting time trying to give yourself excuses for something that fail to be done but rather give yourself encourage to continue with what you wanna do.

I failed before in the trap of excuses, yet my God reached out His hands and pulled me from the pit.

God can do the same for you.

Giving no excuses to the calling of God.

Start by listening and obeying the voice of God.

Allow Holy Spirit to move, and allow Him to do His mighty work.

Never allow excuses to convince you that you are not worthy of your calling.

Start by once again telling yourself that whatever is of God's will is my will for God know me better than I know myself.

Rev 3:12
He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name.

Be a pillar in the temple God (House of God) that allow the God to crave your name on it, than to be a carpet in the temple of God that is always be step upon and forgotten.

Labels: No More Excuses

Never really blogged about what I received today.

Yes, I said I face the attacks of devils yet I thanks my God for letting me see how strong I gonna become in the near future, or else the father of the world won't try to make my life miserable.

I once again saw the faith for leadership.

Faith for the things God is preparing me.

And faith to believe in seeing souls upon souls getting saved.

Yes, I know it is coming.

Thus I gonna hold strong to my faith.

For faith comes by hearing and hearing by the words of God.

My Abba said it, and He shall defeat all obstacles.

I fighting no more so that my Father can fight.

Visions of seeing the CG multiply once again, seeing myself becoming a PCGL and a CGL, seeing myself becoming a ZS and ultimately moving toward mission field.

Yes, I know all won't come to be in the easy way, but it is fun to see my feet step over Satan and crushed him totally.

The victory is in my hands!

Labels: Victory

Now is time to clear my bedroom once again.

Every single day, I clear a bit by a bit.

And yet my bedroom still a bit messy.

Remembered today was shifting a sofa, and my online kor said it sound tough.

=.="

It was really tough.

Not sound like, but really was tough.

Trying to figure which way to push the sofa into my room.

All because of some furnitures shifting at home, I gonna endured through this pain of shifting furnitures since my home only got my mum and I do to the tough job.

Can't imagine right?

2 super, extreme thin ladies can shift a big furniture.

But we are trained!

Since dad only will be home after midnight.

Now official changed my hp no to the latest one.

Terminated my old hp line.

Finally I got a line that is under my name!

Well, bad things happened yet later good things shall win over it.

Now looking ahead, whatever I lost, my Abba Father will give me back a hundred fold, sixty fold and a thirty fold.

The pain of losing headphone, and having my desktop clashed had dulled.

Tomorrow is another brighter day.

Plus!

I got a new blogskin!

Nice right?

Wahahaha...

Labels: Brand New Day

Now think of it, I discovered, devils started to hate me even more.

Just now lost my headphone. Now just knew that my aunt has a stroke a few days back.

Then after knowing the news, my house desktop broke down just when I wanted to transfer some important document to my new laptop.

I mean, can today get any worsen?

Now I hate the devils and want it to be cast out even faster!

I mean come on, think I a coward?

Devils, you must really think twice before provoking me.

For someone who dreamed to be vigorous in the Spirit, now you the father of this world, really provoked me.

Now I has my spiritual temper!

Against the devils!

Cast out the devils!

Seek to destroy me?

Wait thousands of years you also can't succeed.

Now I gonna pray and pray for this season of warfare.

The victory is in my Lord and now?

I gonna claimed it.

I'm the Child of God.

I'm the heir of my Father.

Now I gonna win this warfare. And ensure victory over my life!

Claiming it in the name of my Lord!

Labels: Warriors of God

After experiencing God so much, now come to the funny part when we all gathered for fellowship.

1st part, we got Mark, Eugene, Rickson, Vincent, Honey and me.

Honey and I was laughing at some inner women jokes about the different between how guys and gals perception is different.

While the guys, Rickson and Mark, Eugene and Vincent were each sitting at one table and Honey and I was laughing at how the guys who dyed hair and didn't dye hair sat together. Like one of a kind. =.=

And the most funny part came when Rickson trying to explain his own parable of Old testament and New Testament in his life. I mean I knew about the Old testament and the way he trying to put it but then I shouldn't misinterpret the New Testament right since he should be referring to his new season in SOT and moving on from the past. But he insisted that I didn't get it so never mind, I told Carrisa, I will get it one way or another.

Then after 30 minutes of prayer walk, we gathered once again for discussion.

Then we entered into part 2 of the fellowship session.

This time, got Honey, Carrisa, me, Eugene, Mark and Oliver.

So basically now is Eugene and Honey's turn to be lamers. Then Carrisa also being funny, telling us about Nursing theories.

But the last part, after leaving the place, finally Mark explained to me the Rickson's parable. I mean just like what I said, so I didn't really guess wrongly, but they just didn't get my theology way of explaining the parable. So I'm not that dense as I thought I am.

Never mind, I had my fun today.

Let us moving forward to a higher ground together!

Labels: NYP Fellowship

Today, I was once again asking God what exactly He wanna me to go for.

So unsure at this moment.

Waiting for an answer and like I mentioned last night, I wanting so much to seek Him, in the end, I was so sleepy that I read the bible till I fall asleep.

Yet after attending Pastor Aries' Home Cell Group Leadership Class, I start to understanding the meaning of being a leader.

And it all started out with prayers.

Pray for the needs, be there for those that need me, and also to build a relationship with the people.

It is so simple.

Now I told myself...

It is a new me I going for.

One who covered all pasts and moving forward.

One who blocked out all hurts and moving forward.

One who looking forward to the mighty hands of God.

After sharing with Carrisa last night of what causing me to be down, suddenly I forget what had caused me to be upset in the first place. Like what Pastor Aries mentioned, sometime is it not about the counsel but about having someone who listen.

After receiving, all I knew now is praying, praying and praying. For everything started once we have an connection to the God who give us strength.

Really thanks God for a higher level He going to bring me to.

After prayer walk in the school and doing my usual favorite, walking around the field, I looked to the sky once again and was reminded of the first vision He ever gave me when I was going to NYP.

Bringing REVIVAL to NYP!

Remembering the times when I forgotten about it and decided to come back to NYP cluster and I asked God once more, is that Your will for me.

Deciding between youth campus revival and NYP revival, I asked God, is it ever possible.

And the Lord spoke, "with Me all things are possible. You can have both revival as long as you pray and seek My face."

Ideas start coming to me, one after another. I raised it up to Rickson, Eugene they all and really, I felt as we go about putting all of the ideas of everyone, all things are possible, for to each individual, the Lord revealed different things and as we come together as one body in Christ, we shall conquer the land for God.

Yes, we are all moving toward a higher ground.

A ground with a higher vision and calling.

Gone is the past glories and ahead of us is a brand new chapter.

Let mark it well, mark it different.

Labels: Moving on to a Higher Ground

Planning to read through my bible but haven't do so.

Why?

Because I looking through Five-Fold ministry book.

Trying to fill in as much blanks as possible, so that when the time come for bible study, I will be able to write even more notes with lesser time.

Don't plan to sleep.

Has been resting here and there.

Think is enough to make up for the sleeping hours tonight.

Since today is the day where my whole day belong to God.

Sabbath day, Sabbath day.

Hopefully tomorrow I will be even alive then ever.

I am excited for the remainder bible study.

So much to do now.

Bible reading, seeking God, and also to start doing some assignments before it pour out on me.

I wanna so much to know what is going to happen as I am tally at this moment between my visions and Cell Group.

It keep on coming back to me.

Should I pursuit further theology study first before work?

Or work for the fees before study?

For only a financial breakthrough can allow me to go for theology study.

Now the urge is coming back to me.

As I gone through five-fold ministry.

Miss those times when I dwelled in theology for hours and never get tired.

Miss those times when I go do research just to know more about God.

Now I going back to those days whereby no matter how much I study, it is still not enough.

Now I going back to those days whereby no matter how much I get in touch with God, it is still not enough.

It should be like this for the rest of my life.

Excitement stirred within these dry bones of mine.

Fill me Lord.

Fill me...

Labels: Come to me

Suddenly felt so ignorant.

Seem like all my knowledges suddenly disappeared.

Gone is the past me.

I never felt this ignorant before.

Once again, I going to regain that child-like faith of mine.

Labels: Child like Faith

I remembered Pastor Tan once said, sleep an average of 6-8 hours ensure we lived a longer lives and during those times, I told myself, unless in future I died for the cause of Jesus, I will live long to fulfill His visions, I don't wanna to do things just because all people do so, but I wanna do things according to what God want.

I thought of living longer as I getting to know God, I started to try to cut down bad habits, like eating instant noodles often, eating too much deep fried food and try to eat more vegetables. I think I at least gotten a breakthrough in the area of vegetables. If you ever know me when I was a young child, I was one who spilled out any vegetables that tried to sneak in my food, either was there because outside food got them or my mum tried to force me to eat.

Now, I eat more healthily, beside fasting, the rest of the time, I will eat proper small meals since I still got slight gastric once awhile ever since the episode with serious stomach flu. (Nearly gotten hospitalise after gotten myself 2 injections to prevent vomitting).

To think back, everyone got their own view on how many hours to sleep but for me, I would insist sleeping 5-6 hours, then the remainder day, I can spend time studying, ministry and other things. I got a long life to live for God, especially in term of ministry and I want to ensure my life is healthy for now on as it is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Gone is the days when I would only seek to satisfy myself and my stomach and body.

Start thinking of the great things you can do and stop thinking of just how much you wanna to maximize your time cause even if you maximize your daily time, think of how you shorten your life span by not a year but many years. Think of how these many years can really use for? They can use for expanding of God's kingdom, ministry and family.

Labels: Sleep well

I finding, searching, seeking for a place to go to.

God placed me at a place for a season of moulding...

After this, where will I be?

Will I leave the place I'm at and move on to a higher ground with God?

I pray so.

For where I'm at now is not where I feel I will be forever.

God, direct me according to Your will.

I need Your direction...

Labels: Finding, Searching, Seeking

Wow, today I blogged so much.

Many might not know, but I'm ne who love to blog and no matter how busy with life, beside gaming in the past, I will blog as much as I got something to proclaim or share.

Nowaday after so long never blog, I felt that I has gone rusty.

Rusty in my typing skill.

Rusty in earning the eyes of my readers.

Many might not know, I am also one who love to spend time with friends if I am ever with them. I will try ways and excuses to spend more time with them and even though sometime I wanna be back home and rest, as long as I met a friend, I will enjoy getting to know them and enjoying their presence. So there are moment, friends gotten touched and wondered, how come I can afford travel all the way with them to their workplace even if my house is at the another end of SG and all I could say is I wanna spend more time. Sometime, I would just say I'm free and nothing to do when I'm in a stage of tireness but I enjoying fellowship whenever I can get cause I not one who often meet up with friends.

Today enjoyed fellowship with a sister and a brother has been teasing her and asking her to open her eyes wider and looked at the guy in front of her => the brother. We are talking about relationships and how we are to open our heart for God to do His work and then I kept on pointing her to the brother. They were like "are you crazy". I mean it was funny. The brother is already considered suitable age to find a wife and he always bullied me but then he treated me like a young child and he is what I considered a gentle kind of brother. The sister is a few years older but she got this hidden geng-ho characters within her that our vice-team leader asked her to tone down but then it just come to me that she should open her eyes bigger.

Now looking back to team 9, I'm the 3rd youngest yet I seemed to be under their protection. I got many big sisters and brothers, people who shared with me how they came so far, and I get to slowly know more people from other country. To think of it now, I'm truly blessed by the Lord and fulfilled what He said to me, to know different people of different nations for one day I would find them in their hometown and they shall be my friends.

Now I left with a friend who haven't come SOT and go Korea to merge them. I will start to pray once again. Cause I really wanna to stay at a friend's house in Korea and if he never married, I never gonna get a place there cause he won't be building a house there. Muhahaha... I smart, know where to get house to fellowship in future.

Well, just random blogging.

Now it's time to sleep.

Tomorrow got CG and service then still rushing back to expo to collect my lost-found book, attending youth helpers meeting, then meet Victor to settle some stuffs. What a pack day I gonna has. God give me strength wo.

Labels: Blogging

Today isw still doing my bible reading. Deciding to start off with old testament. So glad I read it for the story of Abraham, Isacc, Jacob and Jospeh impacted me once again. Reading different translation really bring different revelations.

Suddenly, while I reading some chapters in Genesis, I was being remind of what Kenrus once said when we were fellowshipping.

"I rather has nothing not even ministry is God is all that I can has."

True to say, in this world, we are building God's kingdom, God's ministry but many often only build ministry because they want to have a ministry.

And often we mislooked the Blesser, the Giver.

What if we don't have a ministry?

Will we stop loving God?

I told myself after it came to my mind that, it is always God first, other second. And that included future spouse.

It came hard on me that time is running out.

Yes, I shall one day see God in heaven but before the actually meeting, I should already know God by heart for my heart should be the Sancturary of the Holy Spirit. The place where I keep it pure and sanctify for God.

I wanna come into the Holy of Holies everyday, enjoying His presence and stay with Him in the Sancturary. My life on earth is short, while I working toward the calling of God, I should also build a strong bond and relationship with God so that one day when I go to heaven, I won't be asking Him dense question as in "why there is a tabernacle in heaven".

Now is time for more bible reading.

More revelations, more of His presence.

I wanna make my room into God's Sancturary.

Labels: Sancturary

In my 3 and a half years walk with Jesus. I will never forget all those encounters that I had with Him and continued to have in Him in the Holy of Holies. It is unlike outer court and Holy Place.

Today, as Jesus once again came to me and showed me His pierced hands, I was once again reminded that He didn't just died for the whole world but died for me, for who I really am, for my soul and spirit. I weeped and Jesus once again asked me, "Do I love Him?"

Many times like this, like what Peter encountered and as I pondered and answered back, my conviction grew stronger for Him once again. My heart is strengthened and all God said is put aside all thought and dedicated my whole life back to Him again. To serve and run for His vision for all my life till the day I meet Him in heaven.

He planted me like the tree by the river of living water, roots deeply rooted and accessing to the river water. The tree flourished like never before because of the access to the living water and I want to be just like that, never dry up, never died off, just alive and flourish forever and ever for God.

He promised me, not just a ministry, visions and dreams. But He promised His everlasting love.

It is something amazing. Nothing in return, just His love.

God, more encounters. I wanna go back to the time when You showed me glimpse of heaven and a glimpse of You. I wanna be like Moses, pursued after the face of God. It is something special, something lovely.

Labels: Encounters

I has never been so emotions for the past 20 years of my life yet knowing Jesus is what that broke the walls with me to feel Him and start to love Him.

Entering into SOT is a desire that has always been within me ever since I first seemed Cliff entering into SOT. After Cliff went through the 10 months period, he came out a different Cliff. More anointing, more presence of God.

Following year in 2006, Cindy entered into SOT. She transformed and be sure of her calling into leadership, giving up her make-up ministry, she turned to CG and the journey not easy, as not much people understood her that include me in the past. Yet I saw how she single-handedly grow the CG to 40 people and ultimately we multiplied with a core of 15 members.

The journey with her is not an easy. 2007, no one is in SOT and Cindy was so excited for me when I told her I wanna go SOT still even if the course period had changed. It was not easy for people told me that it seem too short-change and 2009, we might be back to 10 months course and many confirmed that it is going to resume to 10 months course, thus I once pondered, should I go or should I not.

In the end, amidst all of the oppositions, I entered into SOT and just like what God has said, I got to save up the school fees myself through the opportunity He given to me. So I saved with all my might and finally I gotten enough.

In the process, I gave up buying a new hp and laptop for to me, if I wanna see what God has installed for me, I gonna go for what He called me to do even if no one like what I doing.

In the end, with a request to my mum like the time I chose to went through water baptism, I got her to let me go for it.

Personal blessings came when I gotten a hp and laptop eventually. And I know for sure, put first the kingdom of God and all that you desirem He shall give to you.

My prayer never fall onto unfruitful ground, and though today only an area I still waiting for my prayer to be answered but after tally for 4 years, like what Cliff once prayed, the tally moment with God will never be forgotten, for all the lost moment shall be make up by God.

Cause God do His work and we yield to Him to trust in Him.

It is a hard-pressed process and a breaking apart process.

It has already begin the 1st part...

Now I wondered what God has installed for me.

We will always has our valley of death experience and I shall endure it through untill I pass this current situation.

A leader once prayed that I shall climbed many mountains. Spiritually it must be tiring cause physically, our spirit got tired out when we climb many mountains but just likw physically we need water to replenish outselves, spiritually, I need Holy Spirit to replenish me. Like the tree planted by the river, I shall never thirst for He fulfill all thirst and hunger.

Now is another mountain-climbing experience with God.

God, make me a strong mountain-climber.

Labels: Mountain-climber

Today, as I read through the blog of a friend, I came across this video. Nearly cried as I listened to the story. It was so innocent, so touching. A child really is sincere and simple. In term to connecting to God and seeking for Him. How I wish I'm still a little child. Yet I know, I got to remain a child-like faith.

Slow down your pace, take your time to watch the video. You will find your life changed.

Labels: True love from Heaven

Now I gotten a bit relaxed because after a few funny incidents, I learnt to control my dramatic shocking expression.

A few days back, gonna scared by Joel, you can say, I never get scared by a guy but him!

I only saw a cockroach then I accidently screamed cause my fear mechanism stirred up then Joel who walked beside me yelled even louder for he thought what happened to me then I stared at him, calmed myself and laughed till stomach pain. In my whole life, beside in my course, I never heard of a guy screamed because of a scream of girl. Truly a super gentle brother we all agreed. Then up till now, he tried to scare me again (like what kids do to one another) but I prayed with all my might that no cockroach will appear then in coffeeshop today, Dorcus said at night, the close part of the coffeeshop got rats running around and all my hair stands.

I hate cockroack, hate insects, hate rats but I love hamster.

Today my mum saw my hamster gotten stucked at the hole of the self-make bathtub. I was so afraid for him cause it is not the first time he gotten stucked. so I quickly asked for him and rescued him in time. Poor hammy gonna leave me soon. Getting old. Still remember the day when Jun Jie passed the 2 hammies to me. I gotten so scared when Cliff grabbed one of my hamster and trying to push it down the stairs. Just because he was upset with the prank we put upp without him knowing. Then plus Casandra always has an evil plot toward my hamster. Wanna to squeeze him to death. Never will I let anyone get close to my hamster unless I sure I can trust them. Not to forget when I throw away the mate of my current hamster after she died in the hands of my hammy. What an accident. Now thinking back, I learn to love this cruel one and take good care of him while his mate went back to soil.

But then after that, I gotten my few shocking experience with God and a few other people. It took what Pastor Ming shared out of the blue to convince me of what I was so determined to brush it off.

Valerie said to flow with God...

God is so mysterious sometime. At least I now know what I want.

Now I going forward to this visions once again.

Chatted with Elaine after such a long time. Ever since she gotten married, I never got the chance to talk to her. She asked me what I'm going to do after SOT and I still pondering should I considered marketplace or full-time cause I know sooner or later I will still go full-time but what about the current situations?

Then all I can say is wait for God to show me. Cause even though 4 months is short but God can do His mighty works.

I put aside myself from now on and moving once again.

Pearly once said, our life is no longer our own ever since we are born cause we are already tied to our parents by blood. And it ccame to me in a revelation that our life after salvation is no longer our own and our parents but it's belong to Jesus for we are tied in the spirit to Him.

I'm now tied with the Lord and to flow with Him doesn't seem so hard now.

I already start to talk even deeper in this journey.

Now I just got to pluck in deeper and deeper.

To move with the Holy Spirit.

Gifts and talents He had given to me.

But attitudes and altitudes got to be build up and changed when our life is transformed through God.

Listen the world out there...

The Shi Min you known will be the Evangeline you known from 4 months from now.

God has given me a new name then I shall use it.

Evangeline, Evangelist?

I'm not sure if Evangelist what I called for.

But I know I am to be a missionary in the near future.

Got to flow with God.

Got to move with Him.

Only when I pray then He will move.

Prayer warriors rised up...

Labels: Flowing with God...

I need to pray more, plug in more into the presence of God.

Like a Pastor once said, the greatest blessing in life is to have a friend who walk through the life journey with you ande support you in time of needs.

People in some parts of their life, find great friends to be with them and share.

I once got many great friends, but as I entered into a new phrase of life, I disconnected from them and as I know God, God become a Friend who is irreplacible.

Yet, as I heard of Pastor talking about praying for a friend a few days back, I was thinking, is it really possible? For many never has it, except their life partner but I want a good galfriend who can go out and eat, go out and share, go out and talk, and sharing our spiritual encounters and be one who beside my mentors and disciplers, can stand by me and walk with me to believing in my vision to come.

I got great dreams, great visions, but when I was young, I thought by just God and I, I can fulfill it and I got no double yet I know, as I walk further with Him, just me alone is not enough. I need a friend who will always be with me, a life long friend.

I once had a conversation with my dearest friend when I was a baby christian.

We were out there eating and we thought of our future.

We thought of being old in age yet still out there meeting one another and eating.

And we thought of what if we never marry, and only got a dog as companion and how enjoyable life will be when the 2 of us go out together with our dogs and thought back to those wonderful things as friend.

Yes, we still friends now, but we each busy with our life.

With different goals in life, we drawn apart.

With different beliefs, we become further apart and I know, that not what God want.

This period of SOT, what will happen to me?

Will I be so different that the Evangeline/Shi Min that people know now, will be a different Evangeline/Shi Min 5 months from now?

What will happen in this 5 months?

I am excited at this moment yet tell myself not to think a lot.

I has been waiting to enter into SOT and I did it.

Now?

I can only trusting God in faith, not only in my finance area, but in the area of fulfilling my calling.

The calling to see many come to Him.

The calling to dump aside my fears and go all around the world for Him.

Maybe since young, when my mum refused to bring me to overseas is to let me carry this desire to go all around the world.

Like Peter, an uneducated fisherman, who never see the world outside before the ascending of the Holy Spirit, preached to people of different languages, though he never travel much, but he answered the call of God.

Now, I'm not Peter, but I always wanna to be the fool that God used to shame the wise, rather be the one who God never wanna use.

There are many areas that I need to be broken toward God.

There are many pressures that overwhelming but by the trust in Him...

Ther remainder 4 months, I can only trust in Him for His greater works inside of me.

Not only to pray for a friend but more of Him day after day.

God, let me survived through this trials of fire, for I know when I'm out of this, I will be a refining potter, uses for Your calling.

The faith to move on is found in Christ Jesus.

And trust in Him is all that I can do.

Labels: Trusting in Faith

Nowaday, wherever I started a new entry. The 1st thing I would say, how long has I stopped blogging?

I don't remember and I even lost count.

But one thing I know, the past 3 weeks, has been the start of something even more wonderful.

Being blessed by the ministrying of God, rebuilding my faith to move forward, understanding God is truely my Abba Father, being blessed with a alptop and handphone as what God promised He will give, my life slowly taking it turns.

We all gone through period of difficulties, trials and tribulations.

And everytimes, my mentors and friends always said, with higher level come higher devil, either you make it or you are destroyed by the him.

I haven't see the fullness of the blessing of God but as everyday I overcoming myself, learning to pick up myself and move forward, relying on God to fulfill what He called me to do in this period of testing, I realised God is even more real than any other time.

He called me His beloved, giving me faith day after cday to move on from past mistakes, past hurts, past disappointments and broken friendships.

Revealing and renewing my visions day after day.

I remembered last week, as Pastor Zhuang asked us to minister and prophesied, I started to learn to rely on God.

As in it was planned by God, 4 times I ministered, all 4 times I was the 1st one to minister my partners who I never know or even never see.

3 of the times, I ministered and someone cried, 2 gotten encouraged and my faith arised. When Pastor Zhuang asked for volunteers to minister, along with 10 over brothers and sisters, I ran and took my place for I told God, gone is the fal who inside of her fear to minister. Now is the gal who want to exercise the gift of God and used it for His will.

But 1st of all, I got to exercise it for whatever we often use, we should get stronger.

We were asked to close our eyes and had random people being placed in front of us. As Pastor Zhuang asked us to minister, the one in front of me start crying, and I thought it was a brother. I was so tempting to say "him" but something told me not too. When I prayed and opened my eyes, a sister was standing in front of me, with tears in her eyes and she smiled. Oh my, I guessed wrongly but by faith, I ministered.

And so many days, I was being ministered again and again by God.

And there was a time before Dr Kim's meeting that I was praying and God assured me that as I take care of His sheeps, I will see my cell group grow once again. How many has He assured me He will take care of His sheeps even when they are lost? I has lost count. But I told myself to reach further. More more more so that vI can have more faith in the things to come and for those that are in my heart.

As we finished prayer, I broke down in tears and was amazed by the grace and love of God.

As I told God how good He is, He said in a teasing manner that "if I am not good to God, how can I be your Father? If you parents on earth can love you, what more I can't do for you?"

I know and I know, my God is truely a God that is so real to me. All the times when I came back to God, I had been finding Him waiting and smiling at me as I reached out toward Him.

All the times as I climbed up the mountains of my life, I found Him waiting at the another side of the mountain, smiling and awaiting me to become stronger.

Yes, the another side of God's promise I haven't seen, yet I know He will do His part as I start doing my part.

We all will face moments of times when we are down but it is the strength to pick ourselves up that make a different.

I learnt to pick myself up again and again.

And to think, many thought I'm strong.

Hehehe, if you ever wonder what make me strong?

Only an answer, God make me strong.

He renew my strength and faith day after day.

When no one with me, I know I can trust in Him for He will assured my path.

Only Him got the power and authority to change the world for us.

The world mean the world.

God, let us continue to walk this journey together.

As I learn to be stronger.

Learn to love Your sheeps with a passion.

Learn to guide Your sheeps.

Learn to love everyone around me.

Learn to dwell in Your hidding place.

Learn to trust in You for all promises.

And learn to walk in faith all the days of my life.

I had been tally and as I tally, greater works I shall do.

For faith shall arise like a mustard seed.

Remember, I'm not the one who have strength, but my strength shall be in God.

Labels: Faith that arise