2 Cor. 5:17-18
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation,

The old had passed away but the new has just begin.

N266 and N337 has once again combined together and this time round we will be combining for at least a month to 2.

The decision to combine was sudden yet we believed that as we works together, great signs and wonders shall come.

Like the words of God always said, two is better than one. One will cause 1000 to flight, but 2 will set 10000 to flight.

This is a new beginning, a new start and a new race with God.

We still run the same race but this time round with a new bunch of people and a larger group.

I am excited to see what going to happen next.

The spiritual renewal. The change of spiritual atmosphere. And the growth of the people.

There is a spiritual atmosphere of breakthrough and I strongly believe that as we come together to pray, this wall will break and the light of Christ shall truly shine forth out of it.

Labels: New Beginning

Finally, our very beloved brothers were out of their confinement! Zhi Xian and Zachary...

Gave Zhi Xian a call last night, and he said that instead of losing weight and trained for muscle, he gained weight and grow fats because of the good meals there. He said it was like a chalet then a camp. When I heard that I gone... SO GOOD!

The other brothers that were in army said things differently but wait till I see him later on and at the same time get back my "dear" guitar. My skill had passed away but my passion is still there. Gonna asked people to teach me if I ever find someone to.

Had been thinking a lot since last night.

From CG message to people.

I was still wondering whether whatever that I heard of is rumor or is real. But since it came from someone that I trusted very much, I choose to believe even if I didn't see it from my own eyes.

The person who told me was not gossiping but was just warning me.

And yes, I thought much more after that but in a way, I just wanna to have a focus of mind. On the works of God and on my own life.

I got so much to go for and I can't afford to let anyone or anything stand in my way.

Everyone will goes through a moment whereby their life is being review and they will think of their life once again.

I just goes through this period but I know my dream will still come to pass, my life will still walk in the way my God want it to be.

Just that certain things haven't reach the season yet.

I got many thoughts, I think a lot.

But my God said...

Slow down your thoughts.

Sometime, thinking too much also not good.

I shall commit my mind to God.

Labels: Thoughts

After having some rest, I finally feel refreshed and awakened.

Really, having a balance life is so important.

I was tired and feeling unwell and was not in school for the past one day and today, I rest again at home and preparing to go for the last lecture.

Sometime is so tired.

Having migraine headache then got to go for school and the contridicting part is I am in nursing.

Well, I just need to have some rest, eat balanced meal and get my life back on track.

I still got 2 months to go in school then out for clinical for 4 months and 1 week.

I need to pray and to seek God to strengthen my heart.

My heart is weary but with God, strength shall be upon me.

Labels: Rest

Sometime, I found my life to be funny, sad, lonely, crowding and made up of different colors that shows forth different aspects of my life.

Frankly speaking, I am now emotionally, physically and spiritually drained... Lot of things happened today and I just can't concentrate.

Having a headache and missed half day of school.

Went shopping for some beauty products to change all those that I had and had this nice lady sharing with me the effects of various products and some of her collegues laughed as they said she was talking to me like I was her child and I was shocked to know that the lady is 30 over years old with 2 kids. She had such a nice skin textures and she looked like only 20 over years old. She said that I was cute when I kept on forgetting what she told me. And I paused for a moment, it that a good sign or bad sign? My memory is overtaking me... Maybe good if this forgetfulness can take away those memories that I can must forget.

And I met up with Su Ee and ultimately JY and En Jie. Has a guiatring session at food court with JY trying to play "Falling at Your Feet". Was enjoying the moment. Su Ee and I was enjoying singing and when En Jie took over JY to play, it was good. JY must works harder in this area since he is still new.

After ther prayer meeting, I was very drained. Carrying a heavy bag and my mood gone when something happened. Well, I can't blame anyone if I think through it. I was trying to be polite yet wanna to say something and things just happened and in the end, choose to cut the whole thing short is better.

I walked or should I say scrolled to mrt station to find that not only Su Ee and JY were waiting for me but Cindy's CG members too. It seemed like all of us were going home together and literally, I learned to ask brother's help to carry thing and in this case, it was my bag. It was very heavy and in the end, Mike helped me with it since the rests already carrying something. Thanks him so much, relieved me from the heaviness for a short while.

Toward the end of the journey, I sat with Hui Jun and chatted with her for a short moment after such a long time. It was a brief moment of talks that we both shared about renewing ourselves in the Lord and has a balance life. I enjoyed the moment when I can chat with her as it always bring to me a refreshing feeling and even when both of us were tired, the chat was good.

I am trying to forgetting the bad incident and reviewing the good ones of life.

I am tired and drained and still got school tomorrow. But I gonna rest for fri to sun will be even more jam pack.

Labels: Rest

Taken from Pastor Garrick's blog.

喜歡是一見鍾情 ------------------------- 愛是尊重與接納
喜歡是來去匆匆 ------------------------- 愛是歷久彌新
喜歡是在乎外表 ------------------------- 愛是內心吸引
喜歡是迫不及待的要有身體接觸 ---- 愛是願意等待

Like and Love is always different.

Like can fade away but love can sustain us.

Like is an emotions, love is a decision.

You might like someone today, but tomorrow, the feeling will fade.

But as you choose to love, the love is what that will give us the strength to carry on even when the person fails our expectation.

So what do you choose today?

To like or to love?

Labels: Differences

Wow, I am in such a lovey dovey mode with God this morning. So funny, I suddenly felt that it is time for me to take a look at my future plan. And recent encounters with people that wrote about their views on love, their future and some about their failures in relationships make me wanna to start to review my own standard and what I really want.

I am still not ready for a relationship but I am preparing for it. When it comes, I will no longer run, no longer hide but I will choose to account and I will let God and my leaders to be the ones seeing my growing up, from a little baby Christian to a mature believer and disciple of God.

And if I failed to plan, I plan to fail. A relationship and marriage is a important, major turn in life as the one you choose can very well let you enjoy a taste of heaven on earth or a taste of hell on earth.

After talking to my leader, I was quite surprised at realising his heart for us as his children. The heart for us to receive the best and the heart to believe that we can receive it as long as we involved them to see us through this period and like I mentioned, it is time for me to grow up once again and to stand firm. I once shared with some people about my wishlist but after looking it through once again, it seem a bit too tight. And I don't even think God will want me to set it this way...

Well, here is goes, my wishing list. God, God, I know You will hear and answer this, caused no longer do I set this according to what people told me but I believing in Your hands.

I want to get married by the age of 23. May be on the day of my birthday. I still got 3 and a half year to go and 2-3 years time to find my future partner. I still got lot of opportunity in life for me to meet the one.

And for him...

Is he from SOT, full-time ministry, from CHC, from Taiwan? Strong preacher like Pastor Kong? I don't mind it if he is not a dynamic preacher like Pastor but I wish that he is an anointed guitarist. He can be a few years older than me. Someone who live by vision and not by sight.

God, I believing in You. In the vision and in my future that is in Your hands.

Lord, I pray that when I one day meet the man and decided to get together, it won't be because we both need a companion but because we decided to get married.

Trusting in Your hands.

Labels: Love

Dear Jesus,

So wonderful to write You this letter. There are millions things that I want to thanks You for. I want to thanks God for creating me to be unique, with a unique personality, independent characteristics and most of all, for making me not too tall, not too short, not too pump and not so thin.

I want to thanks You for the wonderful vision that You had placed in my heart. The vision to go to the world and to impact them, share with them and to equip them in the words of God. It was a big vision but I believe as I walk with You, You are there to guide me, to sustain me and to encourage me. That peace follow whatever road that I choose to walk with You.

I want to thanks You for the wonderful physical and spiritual family that You had placed in my life. My physical family might not be believers yet You are always there to stir up their heart, to protect me, support me and to love me. And for my spiritual family, we fight, we cried, we love, we do all things like a physical family do and though each one of us lived a unique lives yet I thanks You for placing us together to sustain one another, to love one another and to guide one another.

And Abba, I thanks You for the wonderful man that You gonna provide for me in the very near future. Though I might not know where he is, how his life may be but I believe that wherever he is, You are preparing him just like you did with me for the day that we will meet. We might be two unique persons yet the destiny that You gonna put in our hands will be one that is hard to let go and God I pray, until the day we meet, let us be focus on what You set in our life and allow us to live our life to the fullest. Like what You also said, love is patient, love is kind. As long as we wait, God will always give us the best.

I am now willing to listen to You Jesus. For what You are preparing me for. To walk out of my past, letting go of the past and to walk toward the future. You had placed people and leaders in my life to guide me and I strongly believe that the man that You gonna place in my life will be one that is approved by You, by my leaders, parents and lastly by myself.

It is a process of life and God, I greatly accepting what is going to come.

P.S: You are still be one and only true Love.

Labels: Love

I has an obsession with colors!

Life can be such a daring...

When you are in joy, rainbow will be your greatest companion.

When you are in sadness, darkness will be the one with you.

But with all, all things are colorful!

I am so happy to finally changed my skin.

It was a joy to find this skin caused now I really feel the kisses of colors!

God, my God is really a colorful GOD!

Labels: Colors

I feel so light about talking to Cliff once again.

Praying really bring us closer to God and to the leaders and as I prayed with the helpers, that was the effect it gave me.

I learn to be accountable, I learn to know the heart of the leaders and what they want for us, I learn a lot and it is never ending.

Yet as I talked to my leader, I learn so much that I really appreciate it.

I really should start planning for my future...

And I am so excited that after this journey with God and as I proceed to the next journey, it will be a brand new advantage.

And I am so excited for the days whereby I will meet the right guy and account to Cliff about it. And to get his approval after God is what that matter most to me.

Cliff said, even though our parents are not believer but sometime, they really know what is best for us and I can't agree much better.

And no matter is it our spiritual, physical or Heavenly Father, but one thing they want us to have is the best of the best.

Now I understand the heart of my God, my leader and what next?

Is to pray pray and pray for CG to GROW!

Multiplication is now my main focus.

Everything shall be after it.

Then SOT.

I have a jam pack life don't I?

But my joy shall always be upon the things that my Lord has give.

Labels: Accountability

I need some rest Lord.

Not to stop walking with You.

But to slow down my pace to replenish myself with Your presence, Your love and Your anointing.

Sometime I am amazed at how You bring people to me.

But one thing I learn, it was draining sometime to connect to them without relying on You.

Years after years, I tried to depend on You.

Depend on Your living water and up till now, I am still amazed at how much surprises I had found in Your river.

The joy, the presence, the love, the comfort.

All that I need, I can find it in You.

Just for this moment Lord, I wanna to get myself replenish in Your river.

And when I wake up, it will be another brand new day.

Labels: Renewing

Father, Father...

I need more of Your Presence.

More of Your anointing.

More of Your wisdom.

In this world of darkness, where the devils trying to defeat us, I believe as Your children, we shall triump, we shall defeat and we shall overcome the works of the evildoers.

The hurtful words of others, the mocking looks from people, and the criticism from the world.

Lord, sometimes it hurts, but I know, You will always be there.

Rev 3:12
He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name.

Let me overcome.

Let me overcome the world around me.

With You, nothing is ever impossible.

I might have my flaws but I know one thing is real...

1 Peter 4:8
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins."

Your love shall cover all weaknesses.

And through love, we shall receive the joy of the Lord.

Labels: Overcoming

I never would have thought that I would cry so much over the past few years with God whenever I sensed His presence, His goodness and His works in people's life.

It was so amazing and I glad to know Him by that divine encounter with Him.

Today, I was reading Su Ee, Guang Xiang, Kenrus and Howe's blog but 2 things that caught my attention were Guang Xiang's testimony about his personal life and Kenrus' prayer to God for His guidance since he choose the path of obedient.

Reading Guang Xiang's testimony was like a review of my own life. These few years, the walk with God isn't very smooth yet I glad I has come so far with Him.

Most people had heard about my testmony but as I read Guang Xiang's blog, I can't help but remembered about the goodness of God in my life.

I remembered I shared with Su Ee once as I stayed at her house overnight that it was hard to imagine that I will get attached and married one day since I was very independent yet I know one day I still got to have a companion with will be with me and travel with me. That was one thing that I thanks God that He convinced me about.

Well, reading their blog really touched my heart. Maybe one day, I will be able to share the full story of my life to the one that will be with me for the rest of the life.

I don't know when the season will come but I already thought through it and now waiting for the move of God. Everything in life is planned by God and every encounters with God and people are set by Him.

No point rushing, no point worrying.

But... I gonna start praying for Kenrus. My Korea's trip is depending on when he is getting married and I suppose to know the girl caused Kenrus said, if wanna be bridemaid, better ask his future unknown girlfriend.

I'm so excited for my friends and the future to come.

And I gonna make Kenrus keep his promise to invite to his Korea's house in the near near future. I wanna see the move of God that will bring South and North Korea together.

God is really doing a good works and really move in the heart of people.

Thanks God! For His goodness, kindness and mercy!

Labels: Praise

Today, had another fellowship with Su Ee dear...

Well, don't know why but we suddenly talked about women and children's rights and our views on it.

We both are quite a like in our thinking.

We both know to submit to men as they are called to lead yet we know we can't keep quiet if they overstep the boundary.

But it seem like she is more of a relaxing kind of personality while I am the more challenging kind of personality.

While both of us has the independant personality but I am more toward the realm whereby I prefer to do all things by myself while she know that she got to rely on someone if necessary.

This little chat got us to talk and share our views.

It was nice to have someone in school to talk to.

And I really excited for the TCC outing, caused we gonna just stay there to relax and away from all the stress. This time round I don't need to do anything but Su Ee go and asked whoever that wanna to join us.

Unlike the big group that we had last week, this time should be much smaller but she said Ken, Martin will come along, including Venus.

We had a fun time last week acting mini dramas but though this week JY said he won't be going but then we just relax there.

Su Ee and I are really crazy over TCC. Finally I found someone who love TCC as much as I do. And someone who can chill with me. Some more, I surprised to find some other people who love to chill too.

It is about finding the group of people with the same interests as you do and enjoy the fellowship together.

Labels: Excitement

It seem like I had influenced a number of people to start to blog.

First is JY then Abel...

Haha... They said if you can influence people to do something, you are influential...

Maybe in this area, I am better at influencing and psyco them to join the bloggers' world?

I shall continue to influence people but be a good influence that blog something that impact people!

I shall teach Abel the art of blogging if I saw him online.

Labels: Blogging

I stepping out.

I going in.

Out of my comfort zone.

And into the promise land.

Now is the time, what more do I has to wait?

Giving what I suppose to give.

Getting what I suppose to get.

That is my life.

A life of giving and receiving.

A life of constant stepping out and going in.

I can wait no more but to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling within me.

Stepping OUT! Going FOR!

Labels: Stepping Out

I'm preparing myself.

For the season to come.

A new change, a new movement.

For a season of revival and retaintion.

Nothing is ever impossible.

But action is more important.

Moving forward, moving ahead!

Labels: Preparing

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life. You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it. You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself. Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Labels: Soul

I'm not one to cries bucket of water but as I talked to Cliff about the doubts in my life and how far can I allow friendship to go in my life, tears just came.

It wasn't non-stop, yet as I was faced with the truths to stand upon what I believe and what people said about me, tears just came.

Maybe I care too much of what those close to me think.

Maybe I care too much of all the teasing.

As I put down the phone call with my leader, I can't help but cried as I thought of it.

There are many things that I enjoyed doing but choose to give up in the end because of my decision.

Dance
Business diploma
Close friendship
Personal space

I once regreted letting go of all these yet whenever Jesus reminded me of why I doing all these for, I can help but be grateful. Yet sometime, as I looked left and right, it seemed like those who supported me were so little.

I once afraid that one day if I choose to go for missions, my mum will be my bigger opposition for I am the elder in my family, my sister was having problems growing up and I might very well be the ones supporting my family yet my mum told me one thing very simple, I don't have to worry about taking care of them for they will want to work as much as possible and my sister is around though my mum had her worries of how my sister can care for herself.

This is a mistake that I had done when I was young when I often bullied my sister. It was a mistake when I accidently pushed her down from a chair and caused her to have deformed teeth and many of the times I told my mum, this is my responsibility and I will take care of it yet as I grow in the Lord, there is always a feeling that I won't be always in SG and my sister will be the only one to take care of the family.

My sister's CG member is the only one who ever put in the effort to reach out to my sister. The way she is so willing to connect to her give me a hope that my sister can have a real chance to be transformed. Even when her CG member shared with me the difficulty for my sister to be opened and for my sister to understand yet one thing she said impacted my life, "imagine you are a mum and you can't make the one you care for open up to you and you need a third party to help, it wasn't a nice feeling. In fact, it is a sad feeling."

It reminded me of the time I cared for those under me yet the frustration overtook me. It was like a mum-in-training. It wasn't a nice feeling when those you took care of run to others and not you. It is just the feeling I felt.

But my God is faithful and good. Even when I once thought the hope is gone, it came to me once again to give my sister another chance to receive love from more people.

They believed in her, telling her that she can do it, believe in the unreleasing potential within her and it give peace in my heart that maybe my sister will really be the one to stay behind and take care of the family while I travelled.

I once met my sister's CGL and was really impacted by her.

The first time I saw her, she gave me a feeling of elegant and she was just a young leader, newly rised up and being given a CG that consisted of 80% helpers that was transferred in from other CGs.

And I knew my sister was in good hands, no doubts. What I can't do for her, there is someone to help her about and I thanks God for that.

For I know, my tears are not wasted. God is there to hear my prayer and to rest my heart.

After talking to Cliff, I know it all voiced down to accountability, growth, discernment and choices.

We all got to come to a point of choices.

To choose the friends to have, the path to walk etc.

And the only thing that we can never choose is our own earthly family.

Only until I see the goodness of God then I see the goodness of my earthly family. The years of sacrifice had paid off, my family grew closer. Every once in a while or should I say every 3 months, my father will bring the whole family to have a real dinner on weekend and last sun, I slow down and finally had a chat with my parents and really, it was the first time that I glad that I joined in the family dinner. The first time, I was a bit unwilling, just came for dinner and went home. This time round, I leave after dinner yet I stay throughout the dinner without leaving straightaway after I finished.

I observed my parents and see them aged. Sometime I felt so bad for treating them with disrespect when I was upset and frustrated with life but now my mum learned to understand me and I learnt to slow down my pace and chatted with my mum.

It was better than when I first came to church.

They sacrificed for me, they supported my idea to go into SOT, they no longer opposed me against going to church. To them, going to church nowadays was normal, and they glad my sister went.

I still believed in family salvation though it might take a while. My family is still in the process of getting closer.

I know my tears are not wasted.

I know I made a right decision by believing in Jesus and walking with God.

Life should always be like this shouldn't it?

To be joyful in the Lord and know to go back to Him when you face a wall and fall down.

My tears are not wasted and I know my God in heaven is looking at me right now and give me a beloved smile.

Thanks Daddy God!

Labels: Tears

This song is sung by 刘耕宏. Written by Wing.

窗外开始下起毛毛雨
云遮住了星星
夜深了还没有睡意
翻来覆去地想你
时钟嘀嗒嘀嗒的声音
像在说我爱你
转过两点三点到六点
恨不得快点见到你
幸福的距离
就算万公里
在你眼里有我想要的勇气
从南极飞到北极
南京到北京
你的笑胜过那些美景
我们勾勾手 就一言为定
我会傻傻地好好地爱你
你的名加我的姓
永远在一起
拥抱多过千言万语

I first listened to this song in May when Wing posted it on his blog. Cindy said it was a super nice song and the video clip was super cute.

Wing's voice is so different from Liu Geng Hong's voice but the guitar music is nice.

Click here to view the clip:

Labels: 幸福的距离

Was reading Androne's blog at this moment. Wow, I was amazed by his latest entry about his birthday and I can't help it but give a smile as he talked about his birthday celebration with God and how he gonna to try to remember his "wedding anniversary" with God and celebrate it.

This reminded me of my "engagement" and "wedding" date with Jesus.

For the pass 2 years, I haven't really celebrated it. And this year is gonna mark the 3 years since I met with Him and engaged Him into my life.

Maybe this year I should do something?

God, should I get a encraved ring and encraved Your name there? To remind myself that it is You who is always the first love of my life.

And maybe for this year Christmas, I should have a tea with God?

Sometime, I just got to go back to the stage of solitude to spend time with You.

I can spend time with people but then, they can't be compared to You.

Remembered the little talk before the "engagement", You said that You are there even without me knowing. Even when I challenged Your presence, Your voice alone proved that You are there. There was the time, when I was being invited to go back to church for the 2nd time, it was the time when Pastor Ulf spoke about the power of the Holy Spirit and how You existed even when people trying to deny Your presence. It was also the time when Your presence captured my attention and showing me that You are not what I thought You to be. I went to meet with You and engaged with Your Spirit and it was a divine moment for it was the first time I truly felt joy in my life.

And one year later, though how I wish I can set the "wedding" date on the "engagement" date but it just didn't happen as I would like. I was water baptized on 10th Sept and I remembered I was hesitating and was having this little chat with Melissa from N161 as she also going to walk down this path and a voice came to me, asking me to confirm my decision yet I know it is not You, Jesus. Every path of decision will face opposition. And I glad Melissa and I chose this road for it bring us closer to You than ever.

Up till now, it was still wonderful memories in my mind for I encountered You in a special way that no one can replace. Lord, how I wish every single day I can encounter You in a special way.

I don't wanna wait until SOT then experienced You but I want to encountered You at school, at work, at any place at any time.

These are those precious moments and I know, I won't stop here but going deeper and further with my Special One.

Jesus, love You forever and ever just like how You love me to the end of the age.

Labels: Love

Had a prayer conference with Cliff and my fellow helpers last night.

It was a divine time for Cliff shared about the important of praying and fasting and teaching the youngsters the basic fundamental of the words of God.

Like what I talked to Cliff about, I gonna give more time to different youngster, to start working on their life more than anything else.

I really wanna see the CG multiply. We had been together as a team ever since I first joined the CG just a week after their previous multiplication from N161 and there were people who stayed and there were people who left yet ultimately, the remainder people are those that fight through with God.

I am at a season whereby I make a promise to God that nothing matter more than multiplication, up till last week, I was complacent as my heart was tired and my mind was draining but after the prayer conference, I was renewed to move forward.

I was came from a strong root whereby, going to book seats earlier for CG, going for all services during the season of special guests, hunger for BS, praying and fasting all since like part of my life but as we moved to a bigger church premises, I wondered, is it because the space is big, that why people don't see the needs to Q up earlier anymore.

I remembered the first time I was at expo, I dragged my CG members to go Q up like 2 pm in the afternoon for a 5pm service and as we wondering how come no body is there, we accidently walked into the hall and the size of the hall amazed us. It was so big!

And maybe it was the complacency, slowly, one by one, we all started to Q up late. Yes, many times we tried to get the seats at the floor area and unlike in the past at Jurong Church whereby we seated 2-3 row behind pastors, now we seated at slope area.

One of my members booked a very good delta floor seats that was like 5th row from the front and one thing she told me that she gonna do it again next week, by coming earlier and book it. And I told her that some people won't be able to reach very early as we lived like the north and west side of SG but she still insisted because she said the presence is good.

And this reminded me of the root that I came from. In the past, I rather sacrificed my sleep and reached early to book seats even when it was a sunday service, or even when I went for service alone just because I wanted to get as close to the anointed ones as possible and I always remembered during Cliff and Hui Jun's SOT year, I will always be going for Sunday service and I will book seat for them to sit together and we will seat at the 1st row of the floor area beside the middle portion. It was an wonderful and memorial year.

But as we need to move forward our vision, we moved to a bigger hall yet all these things also changed. The enjoyment of booking seats together, the fun when we knew people from other CG and zone while booking seats and even during those stuffy time where we will faithfully wait for the doors to open and then run in when it was the time. I enjoyed those moments, I knew quite a number of people during the 1 year while I was at Jurong church, but nowaday we seemed to forget the joy of it including myself.

I got to be serious, I got to go back to the root and bring back those loves that we had forgotten that in everything that we do, there should always be a passion for it.

I might be giving more time to other yet I believe as I do some, I gonna build up a greater capacity to contain what the Lord has planned.

As I go back to the root and rebuild my foundation by reading the bible, do my devotion, worship God, study the word of God, I will be stronger spiritually, emotionally and physically.

Those nightly bible reading session, those precious devotion time, I gonna to bring it back once again.

Lesser time, more capacity.

What you sow, you shall always reap!

Labels: Sowing

I desire to grow even further in my Spirit.

To start from the very basic foundation of life.

To build my life firmly on the solid rock.

Jesus, You are my solid rock.

You are the One who bring us new life and take us to a higher level.

A lot of things we don't need to understand but we just need to obey His voice...

For obedient is better than sacrifice.

Sacrifice only come when we obey but obedient only come when we submit our life to God in faith.

I wanna to live in the realm of faith once again.

To believe in the impossible and to be more sensitive to the Holy Ghost once again.

I got one life to live and I got to live it for God.

Labels: Growth

So many things had happened. Is it what it meant to be?

I didn't really shed any tears during service yet the prompting for repentance is so strong. The repentance for being complacent, and not spending enough time with God.

As I talked to God, a strong prompting came to my heart. The prompting to form a deeper friendship with the youths, to truly go into their lives and impact them by going into the basic foundation of God's word.

As I shared this with Cliff, he asked me to go ahead with what God had spoken to me, to start from the very basic foundation and to give BS as one of the members had asked me.

I was carrying a burden in my heart.

Now, I understood why I must went through these struggles in my heart.

And after a chat with Cliff, I put down this burden and handed it over to God before I went for my next destination. To celebrate Venus and JY's birthday.

And on my way to meet their CG, I saw Abel, who was being hidden by his CG. If he didn't call my name, I won't be able to saw him. He so hidden by a bunch of CG members. And the only thing that came to my mind was where Su Ee??? I thought she wanna me to introduce Abel but I can't find her.

But the birthday celebration was fun in a way. We pranked JY and Venus. Passed them their presents, then fellowship for a few hours and really, drinking caffeine drink really can keep me awake for one more hour. Played 2 mock drama with JY and really wanna smacked him. Trying to bully us again. =X And poor Li Rong, Mike and Kenneth, being called as Bear, White Tiger and Car driver.

After the whole event, I went to Su Ee's house to stay overnight, I supposed to feeling very tired and slept earlier than her but as we laid on the bed, we started to talk about relationship, our requirements for our future spouse, and about a song called 幸福的距离 by Liu Geng Hong. The song that he sung when he proposed. That was Su Ee's favourite song and it was also another rare love song that touched my heart and made me cried when Liu Geng Hong sung to his girlfriend and proposed in front of the whole church.

I remembered Cindy told me once as we fellowshipped that as she went out with Liu Geng Hong and Vivi, they shared about their past and how they secretly vowed their life to one another 4 years ago though it was not an official engagement and how she never expect him to propose during the service even though she suspected Wing knew something.

And I remembered telling Cindy that next year I wanna go with her to visit New Life Church as I wanna get to know them. I only took a picture with Wing and wow, he was really very nice guy. Humble even though he only been in Christ for less than 1 year.

And back to the story, Su Ee told me that it was sweet if the brother that like you sing this song to confess and I can't help it but agreed caused it is really sweet. And we had lot of funny chat over it. =P

But the girl's sleepover is fun, and Jennifer from their CG said that next time I should go chill out with them more. Haha... It has been quite a long time since I really chill out since that old old time with Wai Yin, Kenrus they all like my birthday this year and I still can't forget how Kenrus ganged up with my CG people to prank me.

A lot of things do happen, good or bad but it is fun and exciting. Maybe I should post up the song 幸福的距离?

Labels: Thoughts

Thank for the cross Lord
Thank You for the price You've paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace

Thank You for this love Lord
Thank You for the nail-pierced hand
Wash me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I known
Your forgiveness and embrace

Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious

High and lifted up
Jesus, Son of God
The Darling of heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

You are worthy o Lord.

For me to devoted my life to You.

Every tears that I shed.

Every cries that I cried.

You will always be there to withhold me.

O Lord, bring me to where no man has even been.

To soar like eagle.

Worthy is the Lamb.

Labels: Worthy

I am remembering...

The feeling of my heart.

The difference between true happiness and hurts.

Lord, take a hold of me.

Sometimes, the hurts are overwhelming.

The rejection, the mocking voices yet I told myself, I am a failure no doubt, I failed many times and I might not be very good at this and that like those people out there but I am a born dreamer. I believed, whatever I saw in my vision, You gave it to me and I can change from a failure to a successor of Your kingdom.

I wanna to do so much more but my physical body can only take certain of it.

Laughters to me seem to be a way to laugh my stress away.

Yet it is also the only thing that most people don't like it.

I coming back to the remembrance of my heart.

Of why I do things the ways I do it.

Now, keep me remember of Your love.

That all I can do now.

Labels: Remembering

Today so naughty...

Went to play game during lunch time then go lan game shop and played until overtime... =X

Then Douglas aka Zhi Wei, one of our co-worker, popped beside me... Turned out? He accompanied Adrian to the lan shop... But they left earlier.

Then they came and disturbed me in office... =X

Super naughty! =X

Next time... Remind me not to play lan game again! So mur... Haha... Still left so many works... and the website can't load... MUR MUR MUR!

Labels: Mur

What a day that I had...

And some more, today Cindy and Michelle became the jokers of the company with Pakistan Husband and Halal Pork. =.="""

Haha... Then the joke continued when I asked Cindy how come she didn't invite me for the wedding and how come so fast from boyfriend become husband... =P And to tell all, this is just a joke about her client from Pakistan that she invited for the India Conference but the client super funny toward her and it caused a big joke...

Then today, Lexx, Aileen, Betty, Cindy and I tried to explain to Michelle about halal pork, then some one draw a halal pork for Michelle...



Anyway, really thanks God for today.

Having discipleship with the youths along with Cindy. We formed groups to discuss about various questions and what we had been receiving from God for the past few weeks and it was fun listening to them sharing then we shared.

It was superb!

Then we had fellowship at MakanSutra...

Now I still very full from it. Haha...

Tiring now, and still got works... But first thing first, after I saved the Sermon on the Mount video, now is to zip it and send it to my mail box to save space. Thanks God for GMAIL the never ending space they provide... It is wonderful!

Well, got to go now! BYE!!!

Labels: Fun

1. How old will you be in 10 months?
` 20

2. Do you think you will get married by then?
` No! I'm not attached yet and I don't think I will want to get marry this young. Some more I thought of get marry by 23 and most people think it is young, some even more worried than I am. So no marriage at this young age!

3. What do you look forward to most in the next 3 months?
` Getting closer to SOT registration for 2008!

5. Who was the last person to call you?
` Su Ee

6. Do you prefer to call or text?
` Call, but with purpose.

7. Do you have any pets?
` I wish to owe a chinchila but my house is a pet free zone.

8. What were you doing at 12am last night?
` Watching 12 kingdoms but network not good so good so kicked that idea away.

9. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
` Happily married...

10. When is the last time you saw your mom?
` This morning before I went for work. She has her off-day today.

11. What happened at 11:00a.m?
` Working... Still typing the Egyptian Companies...

14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
` ??? At home, bare feet. Outside with shoes... =.="

15. Are you a social person?
` Not really. I like to have a small inner circle of friends but with a large network for my future vision.

16. What was the last thing you ate?
` Tom Yam noodles. Not very nice but lazy to go out of office... Curry better...

17. What’s your favourite ice cream?
` Chocolate fudge or Orea Chocolate!!! Plenty of chocolate... I wondered... It is chocolate that caused me to have a bad memory caused that what scientific proven.

18. What is your favorite dessert?
` Ice Kacha without the ingredient but just the ice and the sauces and the milk with durian better!

20. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
` ??? What that?

21. Do you like coffee?
` Yea! Mocha... No black coffee though...

22. How many glasses of water a day do you drink on average??
` 4 glasses? Unless I'm at home then 10 glasses caused my mum will make sure every half an hour I will have water...

23. What do you drink in the morning?
` Water then milo as breakfast.

24. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
` My bolster is that someone else... With pillow and a warm blanket.

25. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
` Yes... Left side...

26. Do you know how to play poker?
` Yea... But long time never play and I always play without bet.

27. Do you like to cuddle?
` Depend? I cuddle with my bolster...

28. Have you ever been to Canada?
` Hope to... But never...

29. Do you eat out or at home more often?
` Equal? Caused got school and work...

30. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
` No... It is rare for someone to have the same birthday as me.

32. Do you speak any other language?
` Chinese? I planning to pick up Japanese and Korean in near future! =]

34. Have you ever been in an ambulance?
` No. But nearly because of an accident when I was young. Thanks God it is just a mini accident.

35. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
` Ocean! I wanna see all types of sea creatures.

36. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
` Window seat! I wanna see scenaries.

37. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
` What that???

38. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
` Food? Eating is a blessing.

39. Do you wear any jewelery 24/7?
` No. Later not able to sleep.

40. What is your favourite TV show?
` I don't watch TV. Prefer anime from online video.

41. Can you roll your tongue?
` Yea...

42. Who is the funniest person you know?
` Bao Shan Bao Hai! And also JY...

44. Are you on any medication?
` Thanks God, I'm free from medication since a month ago.

45. Do u have any clothes from when you were little?
` Don't know. Even has, I also don't know where it go.

46. What is the color of your bedroom
` Light green. But I want either lavendar or black for a classic feeling...

48. Do you sleep with your closet doors opened or closed?
` Close. But mum will make sure it is close.

49. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of killer bees?
` None... But a cute bear should be ok...

50. Do you flirt a lot?
` =.=" No way man!

Labels: Quizzes

Wow... Today I skipped lunch...

Seeing mountain of works, don't know when will finish.

The space key of the keyboard is soooo irritating too...

Spoiled already, caused me to abuse it so that it can work.

Finished half of the Egypt companies entries, still got at least 5 more countries to go.

God! Help me to finish the work FAST!!!

Labels: Work

Exciting trip with foreigners in the month of August.

First are the friends of Elijah who come from Japan to Singapore in the month of August for exchange programme.

My responsibility is to pair up with one of the girls and bring her to go and play food game. Exciting for I love Japan and I going to know Japanese...

Then Cindy's Taiwanese friends are going to come to Singapore for 10 days in the month of August too and this time, Cindy is going to bring them to Malaysia for 3 days 2 night. She had asked Michelle and I to go along and I starting to pray hard now that I can go.

I so excited to interact with foreigners...

The 1st time I had, it gave me a vision of going missions again...

Now what going up next?

It is in the hands of my Lord!

Labels: Excitement

Since last night, after talking to a girl on the phone and then chatted with Abel on msn, I had been tired. Mentally and spiritually draining. Yet I enjoyed those moments, when Abel just shared about his army life and then further going on to his emotions. I never knew that I had known him for more than 2 years already until he told me that for 2 years he never come online until recently so that he can keep in touch with friends and to build back friendship.

This conversation made me think a lot as I never know how an army guy struggled until they themselves shared about the feeling of being out of touch with the world as they gone through the 2 years army life.

And this conversation really allowed me to understand them. And no worries Abel, will keep you in prayer. One of the strong brothers who in army and grow up in the Lord. Your persistance shall be the proof to the world that you are strong! =]

Then today went for work after slacking at home for the whole day on wednesday. Tuning back to working life is hard sometime, I still got so many admin stuffs to do and sitting beside Michelle can be fun yet torturing at the same time. When she is excited, she will grab me, when I laughed secretly at her, she will hit me playfully on my hands though it is really painful and for no reason she will call me while I plugged on my headphone and was super concentrated on my work.

The Lexx will teased me like he usually do that to me...

But I was suoer happy caused I received... A LOVE NOTE!

Haha... What are you thinking? Not a real love note from guy but it is one that is wrote by CINDY!

Was so touched by her message. I can't imagine how much we had gone through together, from discipler-disciple relationship to fellow helpers relationship. It was a long journey and this upcoming 21st Aug is going to be our 3rd years friendship anniversary. =p

I loved to receive card from others though I myself don't really write card because of my weird handwriting style. But it was so touching when I saw those nice handwriting with sincere words written on a piece of card. Simple yet is the best way to show forth the love and care.

And really, what can I said about God?

I am easily tired out by the work of life and the movement of life yet my God always has a way to lift me up.

And I am excited for this sat! So many things coming up...

Busy as I might be, but I want to feel more of God!

Going all the way!

Labels: Fulfilling

Your Birthdate: January 25

You excel at anything difficult or high tech.
In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek.
It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with.
Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots!

Your strength: Your unfailing logic

Your weakness: Loving machines more than people

Your power color: Tan

Your power symbol: Pi

Your power month: July
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

I love machine???!!!

Well, maybe I do? Haha...

Very true... I wondered where this come from?

Labels: Quizzes

Today I took a day off...

Thinking of doing projects but end up clearing all the unwanted files in my computer and still got 80% to go.

Today was slacking yet I wanna to have something more...

Reflecting on my life, and it proved one thing that staying at home whole day is not the wisest choice.

And just not long back, I sufted through Su Yi's blog and read her entry about our conversation on sunday.

I shared a lot that day, mostly on my bad experiences with guys since young and also a childhood friend that I still hold close even at this age...

Well at first, to share it is hard for I shared before but not all of my story and it brought back memories yet at the same time, as I shared, it seemed as though I am letting go. Letting go of that childhood promise, letting go of the bad experiences, it is as though since today, I am ready to go forward again.

I remembered once, I was at an altar, waiting to be lay hands by Pastor Ulf and as I fall under the power of God, the voice of the Lord came to me, as clear as my friend, He said, "Your feet shall tread upon every ground and the world shall hear of My name and your testimony."

And many times I told myself, I am not perfect, my life is not perfect.

I make countless of mistakes and still counting, and many times, I made the same mistake again and again, yet my God never abandon me.

There were many times, like some of my closer friends, I felt alone yet I sensed a presence with hold me.

I am no different from others, with a desire to be a leader yet sometime I questioned myself, do I have the quality to be a leader?

I got great dream, great desire yet sometime when people reminded me of my mistakes, it seemed so faraway, yet times after times, even with the pain in my heart, I told myself, "my Lord said it is possible as long as I believe."

I felt down at most times, yet when I recalled my vision, I was awakened.

I got not much people who believed in me except Gabriel, Cliff, Hui Jun, Kenrus, Edmund, Su Yi. Some of which, are higher level than me, some same level while some still growing... Yet unknowningly, they helped to edify me.

They listened to me, answered about my life, hearing me share of my dream and vision. Gabriel, Cliff and Hui Jun expanded my dreams. While Kenrus, Edmund, Abel, Jian Yong and Su Yi believing in my dream.

I really thanks God for giving my chances to share of my testimony and gave me these friends. They listened, they shared their vision... I was always amazed how I got to know these friends. It is not by going out that I know them well, it is by their initative to get to know me that started this friendship.

I won't forget those wonderful BS lessons with Gabriel, Kenrus, Wai Yin and Edmund.

I won't forget those times that Abel and I travelled back home with Hui Jun after those combined CGs that we had long time ago.

I won't forget knowing Su Yi as my junior and ultimately my daring after we got this click for "suaning" Zheng Xuan, "ZX 02".

I won't forget how a short msn conversation with Jian Yong causing us to be friends and now sibling... But I still can't stand being called "mdm" when I looked young then him.

And mostly I won't forget how I got to know Cliff as my spiritual daddy whenever I got into troubles and seek for his helps.

I wanna to be a testimony that shine and for this time round, I got a greater reason to fight on... Because I got my God who look after me and give me these true leaders and friends that stayed with me.

There will always be pain somewhere, somehow... But it is the reminder of why I am here that allow me to stand up again.

I living for a greater cause for my God is my Redeemer...

What about you? Who are you living for?

Labels: Testimony

There is a cry from my heart.

To overcome my most deepest fears of all.

There is a lot of things I can overcome but just these two that I have yet to let go.

Maybe by human strength, I tried too hard, that why it is still with me.

Maybe it is the only area that haven't fully given to God yet and now I can hear Him calling out to me to fully let go.

Maybe it is the time now to fully give it to Him so that I can move further with me.

Lot of times I seek for changes, not for myself but for God and others and for my future.

And now, I am not only living for God but also for the future that I seek to find.

Lord, I cry out for a friend, who can see me through this period of time.

Who, beside You, can learn to understand me and be another support.

I believe in the power of one yet I believe that two is better than one.

Now is the time for us to shine.

I need someone who can shine with me and is seeking to be in the likeness as Christ.

Now is the time Lord...

Labels: Cries

Seeking for the me to be...

It is never easy.

Seeking to leave the past fully behind...

It take a lot of will.

Seeking to start anew...

I got to learn to let go.

My Lord is the One to bring me to where I suppose to be.

Labels: Seeking

Sometime, being a so called counsellor can be fun yet the burden to carry is heavy.

I never like to be called one caused I always felt that I am not trained in those area and I can only lend a listening ear.

I'm not really good at words.

My experiences are not very high.

Yet I glad my Lord sent people who I can understand for me to help them...

It is not easy, to feel for them yet being objective and not subjective.

It is during period like those that I got to control my impatient, my emotions and anything that stand in the ways.

I won't called myself a counsellor, I am more of a minister yet I got to grow up more to handle issues more properly.

It is a burden that belong to You Lord.

I thanks God for bring these people into my life for me to listen to them and to chat with them.

But it is not about me but You.

All to You.

Labels: Burden

There is a sense of loss that once always sweep through the being if my core.

It has never been in my heart for such a long time ever since I got pass the fact that people do leave the Lord and do turn their back on God when they faced trials and tribulations.

Yet today, as I thought of how I can overcome my fears of pressing in, the sense of loss once again came to me.

It was a feeling that hit my deeper being.

These 3 years of being in church and ultimately in CG ministry, I had saw couples of people leaving church. Some come back while some got themselves lost in the world.

Whenever I saw these people who got themselves lost in the world, I wanna to reach out to them yet some of them rejected for they felt that God has left them to fight for themselves.

Yet I know my Lord is faithful for when I nearly went back to the world many times, He came and stopped me by awaken me up.

Even when I was being unfaithful and committed the sins of the past, yet He forgive me and wait for me to turn back to Him.

How much more can I said about Him?

Experiences didn't come by just hearing people sharing about their life and how God bring them to where they are.

Experiences come when you youself experience it.

I still so far behind in the relationship with God yet I desire to go deeper with Him.

Experiences are build when you are walking with Jesus through bad times and good times.

You won't know the bitterness, sweetness of life until you youself overcome it.

I felt the sense of loss, yet I have gained the strength in the Lord.

My heart is aching yet I know my Lord is faithful and He will never allow me to fall way way behind.

For He is the God of strength!

Labels: Strength

More wisdom, that what I ask for.

Nothing but wisdom, that what I want.

I was confused for a moment.

It is rightful for me to share what I share even though it is to get to know my inner thinking better.

Maybe it isn't time yet for I haven't overcome it fully.

I need to go back to the discerning of the spirit.

It had beem such a long time since I really really get into the combination of the presence of God and words of the Holy Spirit.

I need to once again seek for wisdom to deal with life, not only my own but those around me.

The vision I carry.

The love I wanna have.

I no longer wanna live for myself, but I wanna live for God and people.

Lord, give me Your Wisdom.

Take me deeper into Your presence.

On this solid rock I stand.

Which shall never fall, for I know, You shall sustain.

Labels: Wisdom

I waiting for the works of the Lord to be done in this world.

I waiting to see all people fulfilled their dreams and visions.

With them moving a step closer, I also move a step closer.

Now I got more friends moving and I moved with them.

It is a blessing... There is no doubts.

And I glad to have them with my friends.

I moving toward my future.

With the guidance of my Lord.

Knowing that everything will be fine.

For my Lord will be with me even till the end of this age...

Labels: Waiting

Wow... Finally back on track for updated...

A few days had passed and lots of things had been coming up.

Tired as I might be but yet, I was amazed yet wondering why things happened the ways it happened...

Thanks God for the SOZO camp. The workshop was wonderful, and I learned a lot from Gabriel. It was fun, I was in John Tan's team to help him took care of the people. They were new yet I glad I got to know some of the youths better. I only saw some of them during make-up CG long time ago and never got a chance to get to know them better, and the worst part came when I forget a girl's name no matter how many times she told me... But in the end, I might as well remembered her Chinese name, it was easier and more cute.

But too bad, every good meeting and team got to separate in the end. As we continued with the night session and with more CGs joining us, we got to sit with our own CG and waiting for them to finalise the night camp groupings.

Yet, I thanks God that I obeyed His words. A few days before the camp, even during the afternoon workshop, I was nervous beyond words. I was supposed to share my testimony but at that point, I was afraid for a moment. In the past, in 2 of the zone meetings, I shared about my testimony before but this was the first time I ever shared about my whole life and how God changed me. During the time I submitted my testimony to Michelle, I was quite afraid as it was the first time I ever gonna told everyone about my life and someone got to proof read it. I remembered as Michelle showed me the copy that she edited for me, I was so touched, because the last half of the page, she left it unedited and as we read it, I was reminded of the times when I was being pushed to the end and confronted the truths of my life and my whole fears. And Cliff again and again targeted the area when I feared the most, Gabriel kept reminding me of what I striking for during Bible Study and Hui Jun forced me to come to the end of my own being and see what God placed in my life. I was amazed beyond words.

Before I went up the stage, I was unsure of what to do. I was nervous and afriad that I will cry when I shared it, yet God is good. Halfway through the sharing, I felt the presence of God burning like consuming fire behind me and He stretched His hands as usual, and just when I nearly cried, He touched me and I got hold of my emotions. Cindy was there accompanied me and I thanks God for her presence as one thing I never shared was she was the one that followed up on me when I first came to church after my classmate invited me. My classmate left church shortly after I came back and I thanks God for the 2nd time I came back, the move of the Holy Spirit convicted me of His existence and I desired to know Him...

And the night went on pretty well. The camp started as usual and thanks Venus they all for finding food for me as I skipped meals to prepare my heart for the testimony and was having slight gastric pain but they helped me to get food and O had a fun time with Kenneth, Guang Xiang, JY, Martin, Venus and Pearly as we heard lame and gross jokes. =.="

The next morning was even more lame. We were so tired and Venus and I were the only 2 persons that catch an hour sleep before the start of the morning session.

Guang Xiang and I turned into the Techno team and we were dancing to the techno version of "Our God is an Awesome God." And Kenneth got the idea of asking the camp people to dance techno and JY, Venus, Kenneth and I were supposed to think of moves for them to follow. Basically, they suffered through the fun torturing of us... And lack of sleep do give us crazy idea... Until now, I still suffered a little bit side effect. =P

But then, after the whole camp, I chosed to go home to catch some sleep before Yong Xiu's birthday. In the end, only I made it. But God don't left us to be alone. Shockingly, I met Abel as he board the lrt. It was the first time since our last combined CG that we really chatted. The journey passed by very fast as we chatted and so glad to talk to him after such a long time. Got to know about his Police Academy life and got to share with him what going on in the zone. It was funny at some points as we discovered funny stuffs and he liked to tease my clone.

But at least, beside JY who was not around that time, Abel is another person who lived near my house area and I got accompany to go back home... Not bad and still can catch up our friendship...

And I enjoyed the experiences these few days. It didn't come very easy but God is good and at the same time, I can't deny that there were bad things happened like I met some people who make me feel mur but then, I grateful for knowing people who I can chat with and one thing that both Abel and I agreed was people might know us because we were on stage and for Abel's case, he was on stage with 20,000 people saw him singing... But then, some time, we really need to get to know people better as friends and I glad that Su Ee darling want to know him as friend.

Maybe see next time can catch Abel if he sing for the next meeting... Haha... For this meeting, he missed my testimony and asked me to share again but then I was lazy and only gave him an outline of what I shared. And the next time we catch up again, maybe can ask Su Ee along...

Thanks God for a wonderful time! =]

Labels: Memories

Who would has know...

A plan that was thought could be used as part of the camp and literally, the leader gave me the plan that they original planned out and ask me to go and plan it the way I want.

Who would has know...

The story of my life will be once again be told...

It is beyond what I can imagine and I need as much preparation and prayer as I can...

To link to God.

To seek for His anointing.

Nothing is ever by my own power, but by God.

Lord, You are truly wonderful.

Even when difficulties find it way into my life, You still there for me.

I need to get back on track soon. With a clear mind and a pure heart.

Labels: Praise

Before I go out for work, I found a survey that done by Jace. Haha...

[one] What is your natural hair color?
- Black

[two] Where was your default picture taken?
- During Benny Hinn's Crusade, with my clone. It is her 1st time putting make up and I got to force her to put for the sake of choir. Then took photo with her caused it was a precious moment. =P

[three] What's your middle name?
- Shi

[four] Your current relationship status?
- Single

[five] Does your crush like you back?
- How I know?

[six] What is your current mood?
- Sleepy, just wake up and watch one episode of 12 Kingdoms.

[seven] What color underwear are you wearing?
- =.=" It is a secret.

[eight] What makes you happy?
- Being with God and has His presence around me. =]

[ten] If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
- My school result, friendships and my school years.

[eleven] If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
- Rabbit or Chinchila.

[twelve] Ever had a near death experience?
- Yea... 3 times. Nearly got hit by cars.

[thirteen] Something you do a lot?
- Sleeping, sufting nets and watching anime. Not to forget, listening to music!

[fourteen] What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
- So You Would Come.

[fifteen] Who did you copy and paste this from?
- Jace

[sixteen] Name someone with the same birthday as you?
- Don't know anyone...

[seventeen] When was the last time you cried?
- Can't remember... Haha..

[eighteen] Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
- About 20 people see Xiao Yong and I sung... =X Why did I ever agree to sing? Haha...

[nineteen] If you could have one super power what would it be?
- To transport myself from one nation to another.

[twenty] What's the first thing(s) you notice about the opposite sex?
- Characters and gesture.

[twenty-one] What do you usually order from starbucks?
- Mocha.

[twenty-two] What's your biggest secret?
- I yearn to be a traveller and study sword art.

[twenty-three] Favorite color?
- Black, white, purple.

[twenty-four] When was the last time you lied?
- Can't remember.

[twenty-five] Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
- Doremon... Haha... And I normally watch online video nowaday.

[twenty-six] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
- Nuts and milk.

[twenty-seven] Do you speak any other language?
- Chinese and a little tiny bit of Japanese.

[twenty-eight] What's your favorite smell?
- Sweet smelling aroma.

[twenty-nine] If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
- Exciting.

[thirty] When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
- Last week service. Haha...

[thirty-two] What are you thinking about right now?
- The camp tomorrow and what I gonna to do. Haha...

[thirty-three] What should you be doing?
- Packing? Haha... And going to work.

[thirty-four] What was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
- People demand my time but I can't give them caused my time is limited to some people.

[thirty-five] How often do you pray?
- Every single day. Talking to God become natural...

[thirty-six] Do you like working in the yard?
- Haha... Maybe... Grape yard? Haha... =P

[thirty-seven] If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want it to be?
- Aquarius

[thirty-eight] Do you act differently around your crush?
- I don't know... Maybe, maybe not...


[thirty-nine] Are you in love?
- Prefer not to answer...

[forty] Any regrets?
- Have but it all at the back of my mind... Haha...

Labels: Quizzes

I finished what I suppose to finish and more will be coming!

Waiting excitingly for the camp!

Haha...

Labels: Excitement

I seek to regain my strength.

This physical pain that I carry, I pray for healing to come.

I don't wanna be restricted.

I don't wanna be limited.

I really need my strength back, my focus back.

I got a greater works to do.

Now is the time!

Labels: Fighting Spirit

Thanks God!

I finally received the inspiration while I am weak in the body.

Not in a good condition now due to stomach pain, but God never short change me as I stay at home and chat with random people.

And as I chatted with Elizabeth, God impressed a word in my heart to focus on.

Thanks God!

You are really great!

Speak at anywhere and through anyone...

Now I just need to think of how to begin...

Think! Think! Think!!!

Labels: Inspiration

I in need of inspiration...

My mind is in a blank now, and I got a testimony to prepare for.

Lord!

Give me inspiration now!

Labels: Inspiration

One life,
I lay at Your altar.

One love,
I have with You.

Touch me again,
Fill me as You hold,
My outstretched hands.

One word,
You know I will follow.

One heart,
Broken to You.

Use me again,
Your mercies follow me,
For all my days.

A life that I has, I now give it to You.

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who live in me...

Labels: Devotion

Changing to take responsibility of reaching out.

Changing to be more teachable.

Changing to listen more.

Changing to stop trying to run away.

Changing to face my problems and seek for solutions.

A change is always good.

And changing is always for a better future.

Everything in life start with a decision to change.

Labels: Change

A promise is a promise, I'm not going to break.

A promise is a promise, I'm willing to wait.

Lo and behold.

Once you make a promise, with all your life, it is meant to be fulfill.

It is better to not make a vow then to make it then break it.

A vow is just like a promise.

The world said, "promise is meant to be broken."

But the Lord said, "it is better to not make a promise then for you to make it then break it."

Keep true to your words and not shallow your words, caused words is not good to shallow.

Labels: Promise

Quite sad to see friend in love issues.

Today, was reading a friend's blog and as I read her entry, I was shocked and also feeling sad for her because of the thin line between loving someone as a friend and loving someone as a lover.

It seemed like a guy mistaken her care as a friend as a lover's love and one misunderstanding lead to another and the issue got bigger and she herself feeling bound by it.

And it got me to think of a guy who I once trying to help as a friend. I might have shared this with some friends or I might not but it was a past that make me learn a lesson of differential loves.

Chatting with a guy through msn is one thing, getting pestered and declaration of love is another thing. Because of the need of love, this guy hold on to me by calling me, sms me, pleading with me and threatening me. All of it is due to my little mistake of not making the line of "just wanting to be friends and not BGR" clearly.

And reading this friend's blog, made my heart went for her as the experience was so similar yet different, at least I never met the guy in real life but she was opposite of me.

Sometime to differential loves seem hard.

This girl just want to find her true love but devils just seem hard to play trick with her by sending her guys that she know is not for her.

Girl, stay strong, be focus. When it is time, it will be what it meant to be. Signs and wonders follow those of God.

Like what people shared with me and what I shared with the girl, signs are the best things to tell whether it is from God or it isn't. The devils and God know the same things but the only different is, God know the future and what is coming, the devils only know the present and trying to stop it or bringing a wrong destiny on our way.

Don't be distracted but stay focus. If it isn't meant to be, God is going to send you someone better, more mature and love Him to the core of his heart.

And it is the same goes for everyone, including the one reading this and me too.

God never give 2nd handed goods to us, but He always reserved the best of us. It is only a matter of time and only a matter of patient.

Just like a series that Cliff once taught, True Love Wait.

Waiting is a test of patient.

Reserving is a test of self-control.

To know whether you have patient and self-control.

Just wait and reserve.

Labels: Love

Wow, this few days I really glad to spend time talking to my mum.

So blessed by her.

She blessed me cash to brought new clothings, and she reassured me that I don't have to worry about paying for my poly school fees for dad and her are going to pay for me, all I need is concentrate on saving for my SOT fees plus my Apple Notebook.

And my mum really talked to me and I just listened, at the same time, shared about God with her.

I got this feeling, the days of salvation isn't faraway.

It is nearer than I think.

And my mum said as long as it is within her ability, before I find a full time job, whatever I need, I just ask of her and as for my salary, I can just save it and don't touch it. For a family that isn't rich, that is like a real blessing from my mum.

Like what the bible said, if we can love our own children and give them the best, what more is our heavenly Father?

And since my mum is giving me the best, not only because I'm her elder child, but also because she adored me and I gladly to accept the fact that my mum loved me very much and I loved her back! Haha... If it was the old me, I will never said that caused it was hard for me to express my emotions and feelings. But now, all I do is to listen to her and spend time with her instead of my computer caused I do need human interaction though a lot of times I have it with my members and all my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Sometime, before God came into our life, we will always overlooked the love that our parents have for us. Only after Christ came into our life, then we realised how much our parents cared for us. It is this way for me and I pretty sure that for some of you, it is too.

Treasure your parents people, even when the devils wanna come and steal this away from you. Life is short, time is limited, relationship is not forever, but happiness is for this moment.

Labels: Relationship

So bored out of my mind now. In school, waiting for my next lecture. Today morning lecture was surprisingly good and interesting. Now left the boring Management lecture to go. Before my next lecture, maybe I should do some quizzes huh? Haha

Take from Ee Hwa's bloggy. =P

QUIZ NO 1!
1. Who did you last go out with?

Forget already. Hmmm... More like staying at expo for Emerge with Jian Yong and gal [Su Ee] and their CG, plus my CG. Has a fun time though, counted as going out?

2. What do you want to receive on your birthday?

Sermon on the Mount series DVD? Emerge Conference 2007 DVD? And from friends who come from non-believer background, fashion will do with me. =P

3. What time do u sleep last night?

1.30am. Was browsing online blogshop. I seem like I had been growing with the trend of shopping online. =P

4. What's the wallpaper on your computer?

A wallpaper extract from Sun's official site. Black background with a graphically green floral design at the right-handed corner of the wallpaper.

5. What can you hear besides the computer?

Music. Was listening to my favourite playlist of Endless Story, Flavor of Life and Juuki Kokki.

6. Do you agree to the saying "to forgive is to forget"?

Yes, but sad to say, easy say then done by most people out there. I still trying my best to live on this saying.

7. When, where was the last time you cried?

Last sat, was too overwhelmed with some thinkings but I learning to give the burden to God.

8. What/who makes you happy?

God. Caused people might make me happy for sometime but relying on those happiness alone will get my life away as friends won't always be with me, future boyfriend won't always be with me, family won't always be with me, only God will always be with me.

9. What makes you sad?

When people show attitudes to me. When they do that, I will either try to smile it away or shy away from them and seek my God for strength and joy.

10. What are your favorite books?

Bible, Ella Enchanted, Harry Potter.

11. What would you like to have at this moment which seems totally impossible?

To reach out to those bad kids of this new generation. God show me a vision but I am at lost on how to start it so I pray hard for the impossible to become possible.

12. Who will you turn to if you have a huge problem that not all your friends know about?

God, caused He know me better and I am those kind of people that find it hard to share everything with people, so relying on God is the best solution of life.

13. What was the last song that kept ringing on your mind last night before you sleep?

Endless Story.

14. What was the best event that happened last year?

Emerge. It brought me out of my pit and into a new realm of life.

15. Last ride? what kind?

Mrt. To school. Haha...

16. Who were you with? Were they cool?

Alone now, preparing for my next lecture. Not cool at all though. Haha...

17. Have you gone to the beach just with your buddies?

Yea, when we have an outing with no agenda.

18. Do you love sunsets?

Yes, especially when I watch it alone. And sunset in my opinion is one of those romantic view. For the SOZO camp, I gonna make sure I stay awake in the morning for the sunrise too. =P

19. When is your b-day?

January 25th. Still got less than 8 months before my 20th birthday. Haha...

20. What are your wishes for your birthday?

To attend into SOT and have a total transformation of my life for sure. To change a new environment and to work more closely with the youths of the society. =]

21. Have you ever felt that you've been taken for granted?

Lots of times but why dwell on it? Haha... Well, when people take things for granted, in the years now the road, they will surely think and reflect on it so I just let go and let God take over.

22. Thing/s you regret?

For not making things clear in life, for not maintaining contacts with my childhood friends and most of all for not living my life to the fullest.

23. Is there anything else you want to do besides answering this survey?

I wanna be at home and rest, listening to music then sermons and enjoying spending my time alone.

24. What's the most important word that lingers in your mind right now?

Life. Enjoy life to the maximum.

25. Do you know how to drive?

I wish I know how but I don't know. I can't even ride a bicycle. =X Last time, still need Elijah to help giving me a ride on the bicycle for 2 persons. =X

26. Do you like spongebob?

No, I like Tom and Jerry better.

27. Do you know how to play the guitar?

Only the G family. And the only song I know how to play is the Heart of Worship.

28. Who's the last person you texted?

Jun Jie, Zhi Xian and Yi Ying.

29. Do you find yourself sexy and beautiful?

I let the world see for themselves. Haha...

30. Where did you go last Friday?

Expo, for Emerge Conference.

31. What annoys you right now?

To be at a place I don't wanna be.

QUIZ NO 2!
2 YEARS AGO...

1. How old were you?

17.

2. Where did you go to school?

NYP

3. Where did you work?

Pinnacle when it was at Bugis.

4. Where did you live?

Bukit Panjang.

5. Where did you hang out?

The Jurong West Church Building.

6. Did you wear glasses?

Yea, only when needed for classes and also for services.

7. Who was your best friend(s)?

Li Ru.

8. How many piercings did you have?

2, one at each side of the ear.

9. What car did you drive?

Haven't learn driving yet. But the car I like is either a BMW, or the family car that look similar to Gabriel's car.

10. Had you been to a real party?

Nope.

11. Had your heart broken?

Broke someone's heart but didn't have mine broken.

12. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?

Totally single.

1 YEAR AGO...

1. How old were you?

18.

2. Where did you go to school?

NYP.

3. Where did you work?

Pinnacle.

4. Where did you live?

Still the same place

5. Where did you hang out?

Expo, since church moved there.

6. Did you wear glasses?

Same as above.

7. Who were your best friends?

Li Ru.

8. Who was your crush?

Forget.

9. How many tattoos did you have?

None. Haha...

10. How many piercings did you have?

Same as above.

11. What car did you drive?

Same as above.

12. Had your heart broken?

Yes, by friends but get it over and done with.

13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?

Belong to Jesus so consider taken as one year ago, I truly make a decision to be devoted to Him.

NOW, 2007...

1. How old are you?

19.

2. Where do you work?

Pinnacle, at Peninsula Plaza now.

3. Where do you live?

Same, no change.

4. Do you wear glasses?

Same same same.

5. Who are/is your best friends?

Li Ru, JY, Su Ee.

6. Do you talk to your old friends?

Yea, like Li Ru! Knew her for over 8 years. Haha... Oop... Owe her like 7 years of present. =X

7. How many piercings do you have?

Same as above!

8. How many tattoos?

None but I don't mind temporary glittering tattoos...

9. What kind of car do you have?

No car at this moment... Haha...

10. Has your heart been broken?

By disappointment, by comments, by people but I learnt to get it over and done with.

11. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?

Taken by Jesus. Haha... Single in human senses. Haha...

Finally complete this quiz and now I am at home, after my school. Long hours huh? Haha...

Labels: Quizzes

I has start my journey of seeking for more of You once again.

Tired as I might be.

Restless as I might seem.

Yet I understand that I can't give up seeking for You.

I killed my earthly flesh to defeat the desires within me that is not from You.

I killed my earthly flesh to stop feeling negatives about situation of life.

Time and people might seem to threaten my destiny but I willing to brave the storm for You.

People might expect me to do this and that for them but one thing I understand, I do all for Jesus and I seek to live the Jesus' way.

People tend to look on the negative side and comments of life but I looking forward to the rest of the positive comments from God and friends.

I smile through my sadness,
I smile through my situation,
I smile even when I am not given a reason to,
And I smile even when I seem to be in my pit.

I smile through happiness,
I smile through joy.

I am still the imperfect me,
But I stop trying to be perfect.

Only God can make me into who I am,
And only God know who I really am.

I living the Jesus' way,
And I urge you to do the same.

Life is short so treasure it.

Blame it on the unfairness,
But no one can steal your own life beside yourself.

Hate all you want and you will turn back to find your life in a mess.
Love while you can.

Seek the Lord while He might be found,
Stay with Him and you shall find His promises to be true in your life.

Leave Him and you shall find unfairness be the closer friend in your life than anybody.

So what are you going for today?

Living for Jesus?
Or living for your own desires?

We all got choices in life and it lead us to different result.

Labels: Pursuiting

A great news for everybody.

The famous GTZ is going to have a yputh camp just for the young people on 14th & 15th of June 2007. It is a 2 days 1 night camp, especially for those below 25 years of age. All is welcome to join us for a wonderful time of workshop, camping, singing and a lot more.

There will also be workshop taught by professionals that covered the topic of life, love & sex so it is a time that you can never miss.



Do contact me as usual via msn or for those who had my hp, please call or sms me. The whole event is totally free. And it is just especially for you, so don't miss this time but come and join us for a fun time together. =]

Labels: Invitation

I need to be stronger.

I need to move stronger.

There is so much things I am going for.

And now for one thing I living on.

To be close to You.

To live in Your presence, is enough for me to exchange all things for You and for You alone I shall live now.

So make me stronger Lord.

Make me love You even more Lord.

Give me a higher level of self-control and love for people.

Labels: Stronger

In response to Lein's suggestion on my tag, I had checked up the Mac notebook and was smazed by the findings on why I should plan for a Mac Notebook rather than a normal Window Vista laptop.

The cheaper 13-inch Mac Notebook has the wonderful 2.0GHz ram with 1GB of memory, 80GB hard drive, combo drive and an in-built camera. And the wonderful part of it is, it can be upgraded to 200GB of hard drive and without any upgrade, the price is only slightly less than $1800.

And for a notebook that is slightly expensive, with 2.16GHz and a 120GB drive, it cost only slightly less than $2200.

And for a even bigger space of 160GB with 2.16GHz, it cost only slightly less than $2500!

What am I waiting for?

Compare to a copycat Window Vista that took away 20GB of space in the computer, move slower than normal Window XP, and creating a fear that it is vinerable to virus, why not divert my attention to the cute little mac notebook?

Though a lot of software is based on Window XP or the upcoming Window Vista but one thing is confirmed, Mac version will never be too outdated to download any mac version software.

I'm not afraid that a lot of software can't be used caused I got Window XP computer to make up for, but I want a laptop that is stylish, light and with good graphics to accompany it.

So why am I looking toward Window Vista when I can get my hands on a better laptop/notebook?

Be a stylish generation yet with a mind to look for a better product.

Recommended: the wonderful White 13-inch Notebook!

Labels: Recommendation

How many of us can't live our life without of HP?

I am one of the new generation that can't go without my HP.

1. What color is your phone?
Pure black. Fancy look plus stylish.

2.Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M?
Mabel. One of the friends that came for the Easter Day Celebration.

3. Who's the last person you called?
Zhi Xian. To see how is he now since he fall sick just like me.

4. Who was your last missed call from?
Jolene, who was trying to find me during the jam pack Emerge Conference.

5. Who's the 2nd person who comes up under D?
Dorcus.

6. Who's speed dial 2?
I never use speed dial caused it is useless to me since I always forget who I put it under.

7. Who's the 3rd person who comes up under J?
Jaron. Long time can't find him le.

8. Who was your last received call
Charlton. To give me his friends' number.

9. Who's speed dial number 4?
Like answer to question 6. =.="

10. What is your background?
Background as in my room or my desktop? Desktop is a black background with a tiny bit of floral blue design at the back. Rip from Sun's website. My room is a simple light green background with Sun's posters.

11. How many in-box messages do u have?
16. Just deleted 200 over sms.

12. Who's speed dial #3?
Like question no 9. =.="

13. What's the 5th message say in your inbox?
About my clone telling me that she got a blog account already and will give the username and pass to me so that I can help her to design her new blog.

14. Who's the 1st person who comes up under B?
Benjamin. My ex-CG member who is now at Shixiong's CG.

15. Who was your last text message from?
My clone, Xiao Shi Min.

16. Name every person you have text messages from:
Meaning also must name those I smsed in the past? That wil be like at least over 20 especially when I sent them good night and greeting smses.

17. Have you seen the 101 Chuck Norris facts?
That is what???

18. Who's the 9th person on your missed calls?
Reid. For what I forget already. Maybe to inform me about those people from his side or to contact me about not able to have a conference. Haha...

19. What does the 6th message in your Outbox say?
About willing to help Xiao Shi Min about her blog and what she going to name it as and whether she will be giving me her username and pass.

20. Who is the first name in your Phonebook?
Ai Wen. My fellow school mate from the same lecture group. I knew her when one time we were in the mrt and one of my classmate suddenly talked to her and I followed after and then we became friends.

21. Who is the last name in your Phonebook?
Zi Yun. Know her when I helped Pei Shan with her birthday decoration.

22. Do you have a camera phone?
Yes. I can't have a digital camera now so camera phone is my precious.

23. Who is the last person under G ?
Gwyn. JY's CGL. A nice and helpful leader.

24. What does the last text message say in your inbox?
About happiness from Estelle. The sms said that What is happiness? Happiness is when someone you like also like you back! Happiness is when you think about the one you like and you will secretly smile. Happiness is when you watching stars with the one you loved. Happiness is when you have a "no one can replace" and cute friend like me. Send by Estelle. My ever naughty but cute friend.

25. Who is the second person under K?
Kai Yun.

26. What is your ringtone?
Mighty to Save for my message tone. Receiving call tone is Chang Yi Xiu by Genie.

Labels: Quizzes

"Blessed to be a blessing."

This phrase haven't came fully to the true yet it worked toward this realm.

Not everyday is full of happiness and smiles.

Tears do threatened to come to my eyes yet when I think of the goodness of my Father, the joy came once again.

I really thanks my Father for the blessings today.

I came back to school today, thinking of gonna doing a make-up class for my practical and when I asked me lecturer about this, he brought me out of the class to the noticeboard where all the different classes lesson will be held. We were searching for my make-up class but the weird things was there wasn't any class avaliable for me to do make-up. Don't know what to do, my lecturer said to me that I can do without the make-up, he will just sign the form for me since it was just an introduction class and anything I'm not sure, I can ask. Wow... No lecturer had ever did that before. And thanks God I could catch up with the remaining lesson and that is enough for me. Thanks God for giving me the grace to memorise the practical skill.

And I saw Gal again. Every single day we seemed to saw one another. In tutorial corner, lecture halls, corridors, washroom, you named it and we can just bumped into one another, And I so happy to see her. She was always so hyper.

Then I went to shop for jean short and jacket under my mum's blessing. And though I found a short but a skirt is too tempting for me to not get it. =P Didn't get my jacket as asked caused I can't find any but thanks God, my mum said she will let me get it another time. Just get what I want at this moment. =]

AMK hub is really cool, I saw a few shops that sold handmake bags and dresses that was super nice and tempting as it is, I told God that "You are my Provider. You shall provide what is needed."

I always loved to dream big that one day I can afford to get what I want yet at the same time has enough to save, bless and to provide for those in need. And I found a very good gift for the upcoming birthday babies. I thanks God I went there. Found just what is nice to give as present.

Going shopping alone really was fruitful, I saw what I wanted to get, got some of the namecards and can set budget the next time I getting a gift.

Now I settle whatever that I need to get and next is saving.

I glad I save up for what I need.

SOT registration is gonna start soon and by the end of July, I should save up enough for it. Plus by the end of next year Feb, I saw be able to get myself a laptop. I was so tempted by the Window Vista. It finally passed the beta period and it is so cool. Better than XP in graphics and function. Fancy as it maybe but I can't deny that it is the elegant that attracted buyers.

Once again I thanks God for a fruitful.

Now I need to seek for healing and healthy diet. =P I ate unhealthy food again. Oh man, got to gain self-control. Maybe a hostic fast is needed? Haha...

Labels: Thankgiving